Winter all food, fun and drink marathon begins - Love it live · 1 March 2010 by colin newell
The International Olympic Committee has been really funny about live music at open and closing ceremonies for years.
One of their golden rules (that is impossible to break) is the one on live music at the ceremonies… and unattractive young girls (I reference the Beijing O.C.)
Their thinking is: To avoid mistakes, embarrassment and equipment failure, they run “tape” for the broadcast feed from the event through the studios to the media… and to you in television land.
Some claim that the performance is “live” in the stadium and tape to media (and your television set) – that might be, but I doubt it.
From my observations, the only open microphones at the O.C. and C.C. were during the dialog from Jack Roggue and John Furlong’s cringe inducing interpretation of cereal box French.
Canadian legend Neil Young did not have a microphone on him either – he had an audio prompter in his ear so he could hear his taped performance and follow along.
As did K.D. Lang (whom I have seen live several times…)
When Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams “played” at the O.C. Brian left his microphone by his side when he started singing – but quickly “corrected” a few bars into the song.
There are many, many music rehearsals for the opening and closing ceremonies – and what you hear at home is a digital recording of one of the “best takes”.
If there is any doubt as to this fact, ask yourself why none of the artists ever make a mistake during their performance.
As a guitar player, singer and piano player of over 25 years, I would like to say that the whole “taped” thing offends me – but it doesn’t.
It is a personal choice that each artist makes – whether to “compromise” or not and how they do it.
For more reading on the subject, check out David Atkins (executive producer of the 2010 ceremonies) on the subject of O.C./C.C. Olympic lip syncing…
Quote of the day: “I think Nickelback’s music incites violence. For instance, when I hear a Nickleback song….I want to kill Nickleback.” -Brian Posehn
The Olympics are over. Do I love Canada more?
Hate to say it.
I do.
The party is over. Now it’s time to pay the caterer.
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Winter Fun Food and Adventure Victoria - Am I Canadian · 24 February 2010 by colin newell
The Canadian Winter Olympics are in full swing. All eyes on the ice nation above the 49th parallel.
And although lots of people are making fun of the Canadian experience – as if they know the difference between a Canadian and a… well… someone else.
What exactly is it to be a Canadian?
Beyond the eh jokes… and the I’m so sorry jabs.
Beyond the Stephen Colbert schtick.
Beyond The Simpsons or Family Guy lampooning a Canadian courtesy of a Canadian writer living in L.A.‘s impression of the Canadian experience.
Beyond The Guess Who belting out American Woman.
Beyond William Shatner.
Beyond Tom Brokaw trying to explain Canada to an unwilling nation south of the 49th parallel.
Beyond Bryan Adams and Nelly Furtado miming and syncing into switched off microphones at the 2010 Olympiad open ceremonies…
What distinct thing defines the Canadian being? A few ideas…
Stopping to talk to an elderly gentleman wandering the sidewalk – who seems lost and returning 12 minutes later to find that he has been in a no-injuries car accident and making sure he is OK.
Waiting for the police car.
Running into a lovely Olympian from a few years gone by and flirtatiously asking her how often she is recognized…
“As often as I smile…” she quips.
Canadian.
Slowing down the car to yield to a full size deer that seems to be having difficulty crossing a slippery urban street.
Running into the governor of California and after simply raising an eyebrow and smiling getting a Austrian accented “Thanks for not making a big deal…”
Canadian.
Being beneath the radar is Canadian. Being above the radar is Canadian.
Being in a room full of people taking a collective sigh that legend Gordon Lightfoot is alive and well is, well, ever so Canadian.
That we don’t actually have a Canadian Idol is really Canadian. Figure it out.
Not really being able to explain the Canadian essence…
Canadian
Winter Fun Food and Adventure Victoria - Pecha Kucha Night · 22 February 2010 by colin newell
Got invited to speak at Victoria’s first Pecha Kucha night in Victoria.
A pass for now – but going on Thursday night to check it out.
I hope you will too.
Want to know what Pecha Kucha is? Click here
Want a great tutorial?: How about here
Or a funny and engaging example? – go here
Anyone with any artistic bent can do this. I can do this… once I screw in the courage module that is… Next time. Maybe in May. Come see me.
Click on above photo for the zoomie-zoom view
2010 Olympic Rant #44 5-Ring Circus Countdown Widget added · 1 February 2010 by colin newell
Billion dollar security budget. Check
10,000 cops, soldiers and twitchy fingered rent-a-cops. Check
900 Video cameras watching everything. Check
Road closures and traffic interruptions that would confuse a homing pigeon. Check
Thousands of peaceful protesters prepared to make a point. Check
Thousands more frustrated and angry British Columbians. Check
Count down the charade with me.
If anyone is listening, in particular 2010 protesters: I urge everyone to be as peaceful as possible.
The last thing we want is any nonsense or violence from protesters that could possibly justify the billion-dollar security boondoggle.
Be advised: The RCMP will be seeding crowds with their own Agent_provocateurs – to incite trouble and ultimately attempt to justify the obscene expenditure on the 2010 circus security blanket. Watch for them. RCMP Agent provocateurs stand out in the crowd like thin-ties and padded shoulders at a bikers convention.
Keep it peaceful folks – that is an order.
Experienced a wave of revulsion and disgust today… So I switched off the 2010 Olympic Game countdown widget gadget
Sometimes holding your nose is simply not good enough.
2010 Olympic Rant #43 5-Ring Circus Security Blanket Bingo · 30 January 2010 by colin newell
With over 15,000 highly-trained security personnel, backed by a lethal arsenal of military hardware, Vancouver is about to be wrapped in a billion-dollar security blanket for the Winter Olympics.
The threat? Frustrated and fed up Vancouver residents and British Columbians in general who are fed to the teeth with the 5-ring go for gold farce… soon to begin.
To counter potential threats from terrorism, crime and violent protests at the February 12-28 Games, 15,500 highly paid police, military and private security guards have descended like rabid bats on our fair West Coast city.
A spokesperson for the Integrated Security Unit (ISU) offered… “We are continually monitoring and examining all potential threats and risks. We don’t elaborate on what information we receive.”
“We are planning to a medium threat level, and we can ramp that up or down. The games right now are at a low level.”
No kidding. Because apart from city dwellers and the odd flag waving protester there is no threat. None.
Vancouver, situated between a delta, the US border, rivers, ocean and mountains, security plans call for navy divers, air force helicopters to transport SWAT teams quickly, surveillance cameras, police dogs, snowmobiles and even fighter jets — which the North American Aerospace Defense Command has said will use “lethal force” if necessary.
Cool. Lethal force. Comforting.
The ISU’s official task is to protect Olympic athletes and officials, VIPs, nine competition venues and 18 other locations including the athletes’ village and media centers.
Nothing about protecting the rest of us from imaginary threats.
That is the job of local cops – at least the ones that have not been sucked into ISU duty leaving 98% of the Province largely unprotected.
Fuck.
Crisis in Haiti - help however you can now. · 13 January 2010 by colin newell
You can visit here (Your Red Cross), World Vision or whatever your preferred charitable organization is.
Give what you can.
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2010 Olympic Rant #41 What's up with the Vancouver Public Library · 12 January 2010 by colin newell
‘If you are planning a kids’ event… approach McDonald’s and not another well-known fast-food outlet,’ instructs memo.
Huh?
Librarians are being asked to help police kids’ events and other gatherings on their premises to make sure the brands of corporations like Coke and McDonald’s get exclusive play during the 2010 Olympics.
Say what?
Apparently some pinhead at the VPL sent out a memo to all Librarians, assistants and other minions.
“Do not have Pepsi or Dairy Queen sponsor your event,” read guidelines sent to VPL branch heads staff last fall. “Coke and McDonald’s are the Olympic sponsors. If you are planning a kids’ event and approaching sponsors, approach McDonald’s and not another well-known fast-food outlet.”
VPL manager of marketing and communications Jean Kavanagh came up with an extensive list of “Do’s and Don’ts “ coming out sometime last October or November.
What is she smoking?
The guidelines apply to gatherings with 30 or more people. Branches are advised to “ensure all equipment/goods meets VANOC’s sponsorship brand requirements for things like food, clothing, merchandise.”
The same care must be taken for audio-visual equipment. The branch should try to get devices made by official sponsor Panasonic. Should staff only be able to find Sony equipment, the solution is simple.
“I would get some tape and put it over the ‘Sony,’” Kavanagh said. “Just a little piece of tape.”
Say it with me folks.
F*ck me…
Damn. Story source
2010 Life in British Columbia Chapter One · 6 January 2010 by colin newell
The Province of New Brunswick today announced a series of increases to their provincial minimum wage that will lead to a 21 percent increase by September of next year.
“In their announcement today, the government of New Brunswick makes a direct connection between combating poverty and increasing the minimum wage,” says Jim Sinclair, President of the B.C. Federation of Labour. “B.C. has the highest rates of poverty in the country, but the Gordon Campbell government ignores the problem and steadfastly refuses to increase the salaries of our lowest-paid workers.”
November 1, 2009, marked eight years since B.C. last increased the statutory minimum wage for workers in the province. Frozen at $8, and slashed by 25 percent to $6 for new workers, BC’s minimum wage has gone from the highest in the country to the lowest during this time. During this period, the cost to taxpayers for Premier Campbell’s own salary and benefits, have more than doubled, increasing 109 percent.
Former car-dealer and now Minister of Labour, Murray Coell, says… “an increase to the minimum wage would result in the loss of 50,000 jobs…”
Which is the same tune business-people in B.C. sang when we eliminated smoking in pubs, restaurants and the work-places: Job loss! Job loss! Job loss!
In 2007 alone, Gordon Campbell voted himself a 54 percent pay raise which took his annual salary to $186,000.
It’s clear. Gordon and his car-dealing ministers with their Olympic sized senses of self-importance have nothing but utter contempt for the average British Columbia resident.
Photo above As the 2010 Olympics approach expect a crack-down on the poor in the Vancouver area – part of the theme of this administration.
2009 a year in review - part three - Joy, World Peace, and fighting · 29 December 2009 by colin newell
Many, many years ago one of my, now fully grown, nephews declared while hoisting a plastic sword (or light saber…) over his head…
“I believe in Peace, Harmony… and fighting…”
Which is something that must have been on Vancouver city council’s mind when they made the bizarre and unexpected decision to sanction and approve the exhibition of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA, UFC, whatever…).
MMA: defined as: two competitors using techniques from boxing, kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles to knock each other out. It used to be called “extreme fighting” but now those who run this pathetic excuse for a sport prefer to call it “mixed martial arts” — sounds so much more civilized is all…
Call me a sissy but I have always thought that there is very little “sport” in two guys pummeling each other into a senseless mass. I mean, come on. Pinning someone and delivering kidney shot after kidney shot (or head shots) is not sport. It is barbarism, pure and simple.
And, ironically, I actually feel for the combatants that choose this avocation and blame the promoters and audience for getting off on it. Because, hey, it is oh so Toss the Christians to the Lions mentality.
Vancouver Counselor Andrea Reimer, who voted against the motion said “It’s become very hard for me to see the logic in passing this motion … I’ve spent a lot of time . . . dealing with the fallout of kids who have been desensitized to violence because of adult sanctioning of violence, but then adults also saying it’s not appropriate for children to participate in the same level of violence that we have sanctioned ourselves.”
Can’t touch that. Thank-you Rafe Mair for getting that word-byte from Andrea.
More locally, there is some talk among city folk in and around Victoria out through the West Shore (read, Langford, Colwood, Trailerland…) thinking about getting some of that MMA action here on the lower Island.
And no, some of the action in and around the West Shore council meetings, although taking advantage of verbal sparring, bullying and other goon like behavior, may appear to be a form of Mixed martial arts – it ain’t.
For me, integrating brutality and senseless violence into a public spectacle was one more step in the de-evolution of the Province of British Columbia.
2009 a year in review - part two · 28 December 2009 by colin newell
2009 quite literally began and ended with a trip to Hawaii – twice in one year. We went there in December of 2008 through to the 2009 New Year and in November of 2009. Interesting bookends to an intriguing and intense year.
We spent a lot of time in 2009 flogging the Anti-Olympic 2010 message. And however many other folks were doing that as well, we managed to top the Google Canada count on angry IOC and VANOC missives.
Which means nothing. Which is to say that we might as well never have said a word about the Olympic movement, the Olympic spirit or any of that other imaginary nonsense.
I am now wincing, twisting my face up, uttering… Must… not… launch… into… yet… another… 2010… rant…
In one year I have spoken to hundreds of people about the Olympic movement and I only encounter 2 folks that were positive about it.
And one of those folks was actually in Vanoc. Now that’s funny.
So. Did I make a difference? Yes. No. Not likely. Maybe.
In the year 2009, I got a gig writing for EAT Magazine. I mean, who in their right mind would not like to get paid to eat great food and wax poetic about victuals? Count me in. So apparently I pumped out a few delectable gems because they keep asking me back – and I do enjoy the pitch and the opportunity of working with a hard-nosed editor and collection of chefs and aspiring foodies – which leaves me completely out of my league.
In 2009, I warned the population of Canada that Swine flu or H1N1 would be about as infectious and virulent as Rigelian Fever and I was right. 30 infections per 100,000 persons. We are past the worst of it and the health-care industry is still going on about it.
In 2009, air travel was about as pleasant as a Colonoscopy and virtually indistinguishable from said procedure – and yet we had no troubles flying almost 1/2 way around the Planet. Won’t fly Air Canada again if I can help it. Air Canada’s contribution to pleasurable air travel is equivalent to the Ford Pinto’s donation to safe motoring. As courteous and sympathetic as a North Korean border guard, Air Canada set a new standard in 2009 for leaving passengers in the proverbial darkness.
Hang on folks – Chapter three is only hours away!
2009 a year in review - part one · 28 December 2009 by colin newell
One of the more challenging aspects of wrapping up a year is getting a sense of what the heck it was all about; summing up the highs and lows and moving forward with a sense of closure and anticipation of growth and evolution.
2009 was difficult in light of some of the deeply personal challenges that arrived at our feet (many of which we are still unraveling) and utterly brilliant in the number of bright and shiny doors that opened.
Photo right – Given the opportunity to write for EAT Magazine on a monthly basis has opened doors… and menus!
And the thing that is most ironic or perhaps eloquent or even bittersweet is that you can experience tragedy and opportunity at the same time. In immensely lethal doses.
And guess what? It tastes like a macadamia-nut and maple infused slice of French toast. Really, it does.
Because while my dear wife and spent evening after evening sitting on the lanai of our Kona area condo, we tasted the saltiness of our tears combined with the bracing fruit of a California Merlot, followed by a Pinot Noir, followed by a Shiraz, – all with great home cooked food of course!
Some would say that the combination of tears, sadness and laughter is a sign of madness – in our case it was a part of healing and re-birth.
We spent almost the entire month of November 2009 in the tropical womb of Hawaii, surrounded by friends, given our space – to meditate and find peace as we neared the conclusion of a tumultuous year.
And what made it the most difficult was the loss of our Wing-Man – my Mom-in-law. She was like the proverbial co-pilot, who when faced with a insurmountable ethical, moral or technical question, would look at the dashboard of the cockpit, illuminated with a zillion possible answers, glance over the console, through the windscreen and down onto the unforgiving World below, furrow her brow and toss out the most obvious and logical answer possible.
Yup. That was what she was like. She always had the answer. Which left me with that sweet option of being along for the ride – maybe pulling my weight… maybe not.
And losing that creature-feature in your life is like losing the aircraft hydraulics or tail rudder… no so easy when you are in charge of the crew and passengers.
Now I am the captain. And it is a tough role trust me. Still getting a feel for the cap and the uniform. It’s still kind of sticky but it think I am up for it.
Anyway. 2009 was one of those years where it occurred to me that there were going to be way more opportunities than time to actually do everything justice.
These stories and some of their outcomes in Part two!
2010 Olympic Rant #39 Three cheers for Lululemon · 16 December 2009 by colin newell
As a red-blooded Canadian stud dude, I salute Lululemon – in fact I cheer them…
Not only for their delightful figure complementing togs but also for their stand against the ninnies at VANOC and the IOC.
Folks at the 2010 Olympic committee for all-things-compliant-or-else have publicly scolded Vancouver retailer Lululemon Athletica for selling a special edition of clothing that celebrates a “cool sporting event” taking place in British Columbia.
Heck. I designed a line of clothing that illustrates the sheer suckiness of said sporting event… But I am keeping it close to my own skin. And no you cannot have any!
Lululemon, which is not a Games sponsor (Thank God!), unveiled its “Cool Sporting Event That Takes Place in British Columbia Between 2009 & 2011 Edition” clothing at stores across Canada on Monday. Tasty.
Personally, I think Lululemon could market a line of clothing branded Trashy little threads I pulled from a downtown East-side dumpster.
As long as they bear the same cast as the raiment above.
Bill Cooper, director of commercial rights management for the Olympic organizing committee wept, “We see the collection and the marketing activities around the collection as both disappointing and posing significant risk of inflicting harm on the Games,” Cooper said in an interview Tuesday.
Oh cry me the Fraser River and get over yourself.
For the coffeecrew blog, I am Colin Newell
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Reader's Digest Canada rant chapter three - Our Canada · 14 December 2009 by colin newell
On the phone to Reader’s Digest today – and this time they were under the questionable cape of Our Canada magazine.
Let’s look at the Bill shall we? Dated within days of my mom-in-laws passing.
“Dear Mrs. Mother-in-law,
A few months ago, you requested a subscription for Our Canada.
We sent you your first issue in good faith with the understanding that you would honor the invoice and pay it promptly.
We’ve kept our part of the bargain, but so far we have not received your payment.”
Jumping in now…
My Mother-in-law was in the hospital without a phone, radio or television for 4 months prior to her passing and she, in no way, requested a subscription to this shady Readers Digest front.
So. According to the above passage, Readers Digest lies.
Of course during the conversation the very friendly lady said that someone signed my mother-in-law up for the copy of Our Canada.
Let’s keep reading.
“I must ask that you pay the enclosed invoice immediately. If we do not receive payment within 15 days, we will turn your account over to our credit and collection department.”
Can you imagine a little old lady sitting in her apartment. Perhaps she is a tad forgetful. Perhaps she is on a fixed income. These letters and invoices can be scary for our old folks!
The RD invoice I hold in my hand is dripping with intimidation and disrespect for our beloved elderly folks.
Readers Digest. It’s senior-abuse, plain and simple. And it should stop!
My opinion: I feel that RD are weasels that need to be exposed for the abusers of our dear Canadian seniors.
Go on RD. Take me to the carpet on this. I dare you.
Shame on Reader’s Digest Canada – Shame, shame, triple shame.
And to my departed and beloved Mom-in-law, god bless her… At least she doesn’t have to deal with RD ever again.
Read this CBC Marketplace expose of Readers Digest’s questionable nonsense. Watch the video. It is shocking. Activities that are banned in the U.S. appear to be commonplace in Canada.
Shocker: The Canadian government subsidizes Readers Digest Canada to the tune of $2,000,000 a year in postal tariff reductions – reduced postage… so they can scam and harass your parents and grand-parents.
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2010 Olympic Rant #36 where's my security check dudes? · 6 October 2009 by colin newell
A Langara College student says she was shocked to be approached outside class by Olympic security officers and questioned about her friendship with a high-profile opponent of the 2010 Winter Games.
Welcome to Nazi Columbia folks…
But wait!? Back up a second.
Where is my Integrated Security Unit shake-down? I have been happily blogging the anti-Olympic one-trick sermon for several years now (I am the #1 olympic rant blogger on Google Canada – nothing I am proud of folks… Ok, maybe a little.)
And not even a nibble.
But why? Maybe just maybe it is my age (over 40…) and my employment history (DND, Canadian Armed Forces and University…)
I have been paying my taxes since the age of 18… on every penny I have ever earned.
Dang. I am a good Canadian.
Think Colin, think.
I know. I threw a rock into a street once (when I was 12) and was questioned by a Saanich police officer – I lied to him. I said I wasn’t throwing rocks. I was.
Come on. Check me out guys. I am trouble. Big trouble. :-)
Actually… having a background in National security, I kind of figure that the I.S.U. is sort of doing their jobs, weeding out the nutters, interviewing the friends of the potential nutters – even the suspect ones.
Because in the off chance someone is going to do something stupid or violent – or even thinking about inciting something objectionable… there are people that need to know.
Guess that makes me kind of an apologist…
But I have sat on both sides of the security fence.
And I guess that is why I won’t be getting a visit from the big boys.
What I am doing, like thousands of other British Columbians… is engaging in an evolved form of protest – Culture Jamming – it’s peaceful and it takes many forms, most of which are unstoppable by the Establishment; conversation, blogging, tweeting, webbing, meeting and and fomenting a peaceful organization of groups large and small.
I was in Vancouver for a week while my wife was at a conference – I exercised my right to culture jam by engaging everyone I met in an open and honest conversation about the blight of the 2010 Olympics and the rot within VANOC and the IOC. Only one person got their hackles up and she was a member of VANOC – no surprise there folks.
So. Message to the Olympic I.S.U.: You can meet up with all the young people (and older people) you want… to do your job.
But you will not be able to stop us from doing our job.
Fall Fun Food Drink and Words with Rex Murphy · 21 September 2009 by colin newell
One of the great pleasures of the spoken (and written) word (particularly in a country as free as Canada) is the ability to wax philosophic on every subject that irritates the psyche. It is, as if, in Canada, a country that prides itself on free expression, labels the very exercise of soliloquy as a national obligation – the failure to do so, within itself, could well be rewarded with a social punishment, or banishment worthy of a much harsher crime.
Which leads me to the hour of validation provided by none other than Rex Murphy – orator, intellect, maven of all things Canadian Culture – host of Canada’s beloved “Cross Country Check-up”, writer for the Globe and Mail… and on… and on… and on…
We have seen Rex on several occasions, each successive venture in listening more profound than the one before it. Mister Murphy has an uncommon connection to the most intimate fabric of the Canadian experience and a word skill sufficiently advanced to weave an otherwise cryptic and esoteric sweater of ideas into a warm and gentle blanket of thought wearable by even the most jaded and maple leaf detached person.
His message tonight was quite simple: We live in a country with a whole lot of great stuff around us and like the “forest for the trees” adage, we don’t know what we have even when we are surrounded by it – and it is not so much about the learning of this concept, because we know it by rote – but that we often need to be reminded of the little things that coalesce into the big things… that make Canada the most desirable place on the Planet – and the people resting on its familiar soil some of the most giving and empathic.
In a short story about 9/11 and how average Canadians (Newfoundland in his example) come to the aid of stranded Americans and Internationals, forced out of the air in a day of infamy, senseless aggression and rage. – Rex illustrates the factor of molecular memory in Human behavior and how good things can come from all Canadians – of all stripes, because we know what the right thing to do is when we are in dire straits – or when our neighbors are in difficult times.
And not only that, the very manifestation of the Canadian zeitgeist guarantees the feels good reward by doing the right thing – without expectation of recognition – but just the simple satisfaction of lending a hand when it’s needed.
And it is intrinsically Canadian to do so.
It was a great time. We bought his new book (photo upper right) and lined up with other Canadians to have a private moment with the wordsmith – and to have the book custom signed.
A moment with a great Canadian, teacher, speaker and a reminder what it is to be Canadian…
Utterly priceless.
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