Fall Colors Canadian Style - Last minute election attack ads · Friday October 10, 2008 by colin newell
I am not a big fan of Stephen Harper – but I am not so much against the man to think that he would make a terrible Prime Minister – fact is, he will probably do way better than anything I could come up with.
And Stéphane Dion? Same thing. Or Jack Layton… and Elizabeth May… or Gilles Duceppe… all the same.
So what is with these increasingly absurd attack ads in the last week leading up to the election?
“Vote for Stephen Harper and be prepared to lose all your money… and your hair. Are you prepared to risk it?
“A Jack Layton majority is… bad. Really bad. You know what will happen if you vote for Jack Layton? You might as well raise the Red flag over Ottawa. Your children will come home stoned and pregnant… or worse. Is that what you really want?“
“Stéphane Dion is bad for Canada. And your blood pressure. A vote for the Liberals is a lethal pill that will put to you sleep. A sleep that you will not wake up from. And while you sleep, your home will be broken into… by monkeys. Monkeys with mischief on their minds. Mischief and chaos. Is that what you want?
Alright. A vote for Elizabeth May and her Green party will cause your skin to peel off, your children will rebel and ultimately kill you… and while they are dancing on your grave they will quickly become crack addicts – but you will not care, because you will be frozen in a dozen pieces in a freezer next to 15 pounds of ribs from M&M Meats. Is that what you want?
Finally. A vote for Gilles Duceppe is a vote for New France. And that is just plain Crazy!
Anyway. Get out there and vote. For something. And someone.
Fall Colors Canadian Style - White Rabbit Candy Go ask alice · Wednesday September 24, 2008 by colin newell
If you work in a busy office or lab like I do, you will know that the summer days are often powered with strong coffee, home made muffins and mystery candy from China.
And one of these tasty confections making the rounds was White Rabbit creamy candy. It is cheap and you can buy it by the bucket full.
But unlike the Kopi Luwak, I did not eat the candy.
Working on a University campus that is patrolled by hundreds of rabbits, many of them white (and decidedly inbred), I avoid candies and snacks with the brand name, flavor or ingredient; Rabbit, Student, Professor and Textbook… I mean, it only makes sense.
White Rabbit candy is exported to Chinatowns around the world, including those in Toronto and Vancouver, says CBC’s China correspondent Anthony Germain.
The news of contamination of White Rabbit candy comes a day after the CFIA advised Canadians not to consume three Mr. Brown 3-in-1 instant coffee products — imported from China — because they may contain melamine.
Mr. Brown. Your coffee keeps me warm. In more ways than one.
On Sunday, the agency also warned people not to consume Nissin Cha Cha Dessert, a Chinese dessert mix, made with Yili Pure Milk that was possibly tainted with melamine.
Nearly 53,000 children have been sickened and four have died in China after being fed baby formula tainted with melamine.
IOC Connection alert: Chinese physicians alerted the Chinese government prior to the 2008 Summer Olympics about the milk issue. The Chinese government buried the news (and naturally the ICO is complicit) – the result dead children.
In September 2008, taking candy from a baby is now a good thing. It is a necessary thing. And by the way, take the milk too!
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Summer fun food and drink - Snowbirds - why do we need them · Sunday September 21, 2008 by colin newell
For the record. I have never been a big fan of parades.
For 2 reasons.
Militarism and clowns.
Yes. I meant that to represent two things.
And although there is a proud career of military service in my family… when service actually meant something… and when the causes were real and just.
Unlike these days. When there are more questions than answers about our mission in Afghanistan.
So I have to ask.
What is the point of the Snow Birds aerobatic flying team?
I have been watching them out of the corner of my eye for over 2 decades. And it is always the same. They fly up. They fly down. Two jets approach each other at high speed and turn away at the last second… as if there was ever any danger of collision – because there isn’t.
The Snow Birds aerobatic team, in the 21st century, is nothing more than a wasteful pile of noise and smoke. Think carbon footprint. I am sure the Snow Birds aerobatic meant something to someone years ago. Now it is simply a pile of CO2 and unburnt jet fuel, ear jangling noise – a pet frightening cacophony that has no place in any civilized community.
And yet today in Victoria, the streets were filled with sweaty and eager punters lining the Dallas Road and Beacon Hill park to gawk at the archaic spectacle.
Whatever. Take your children and pets with you.
And when little Johhny or Julie asks you what it all means… I dare you to come up with an answer that makes any sense.
And if you can, explain it to me. Because I would love to know.
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Summer food fun and drink - black hole swallow internet · Tuesday September 9, 2008 by colin newell
Scientists at the European Centre for Nuclear Research (CERN) plan to smash particle beams together at close to the speed of light to create mini-versions of the explosion believed to have triggered the birth of the cosmos.
Not quite like cloning Dolly the sheep… but curious none the less.
So. Tomorrow. The World might end with a giant Moob
Moob. That is the opposite of… well, you know.
A black hole, in theory, has such intense gravity that matter can move into it approaching the speed of light.
Such things actually exist in the Universe. At a great distance from us, thank heavens.
Mini-Moobs, like White Dwarves exist within 10 light years. 8.6 Light years actually.
While not as crazy as Black Holes, the White Dwarf is pretty intense from a physics point of view – a couple of square inches of material from a W.D. weighs in at over a ton. A couple of square inches of a black hole weighs in at… well, actually… pretty close to infinite weight. Help me Jenny Craig, help me!
So. Cosmologists think an explosion of an object the size of a Canadian nickel occurred about 13.7 billion years ago and led to the formation of all matter. Stockwell Day would argue 3000 years ago – but that is another matter. Get it? Matter?
Never mind.
Some critics say the experiment will create “black holes” of intense gravity that could implode the Earth, or that it will open the way for beings from another universe to invade through a “worm hole” in space-time. Cool. When they come through the gate, I will be waiting with my phaser…
And that bad boy won’t be set to stun I promise you.
Anyway. Have a nice day.
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