Fall Colors Canadian Style - Election Time Truth Serum · Tuesday October 7, 2008 by colin newell
I had the opportunity recently to interview all the candidates in the upcoming election – and while they were in my modest studio I managed to slip some truth serum into their double-double’s – Who knew that Sodium Pentathol had uses outside of the workplace?
Anyway – this is what they said… pretty much verbatim between slurps of Tim’s and sloppy nibbles of Maple Dips:
Stephen: If I am elected, I am totally going to look after special corporate interests, my friends in high places, allow bank mergers and make cuts to social services like never before… The Canada health-care act? I wipe my BBQ with it…
Thank you Stephen… very kind.
Jack. Jack? Jack! Wake up!
Jack: If I am elected I am going to look after big labor, big labor unions, my big labor cronies, my NDP cronies… and I am going to close all the prisons. For profit health-care? I wrap my Little Red Book in it!
Nice. Stéphane?
Stéphane: Ya know. Dere was a time whan I would give ma eye teeth to be tough as nails like Jean…
Stéphane?
Oui?
Stick to the topic…
Stéphane: Ef a am elected, I will build 10 hydro-electric dams in La Belle Province, 20 new highways to Sherbrooke, 10 new sofa factories in Sept Ille’s… 15 new…
Merci Stéphane.
Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Colin, can I have another mug of that great coffee? I am, like, so feeling trippy right now… Uhm. Wow. Like. Yea. Ahh.
Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Yes Colin.
You need to actually drink the coffee that I gave you?
Elizabeth: If I am elected, I am going to make taxation greener, gas greener, the grass greener and make St. Patricks Day a national holiday… you know, like Robbie Burns Day… and
Thank you Elizabeth.
Anyone else? Last thoughts?
Stephen: If I get elected I am never, ever going to wear a sweater again… I am going to bring prayer and Windsor knots back to Kindergarten… and then…
Zzzzzzzzzzz….
Thank you Stephen. Thank you Jack. Thank you all.
Fall Colors Canadian Style - Too scared to blog · Monday October 6, 2008 by colin newell
It is week 5 of the Canadian election campaign and week 63 of the American election campaign. The markets are falling like Canada geese at a Dick Cheney hunting party. Peace of mind is now receding faster than my hairline and optimism is a word best reserved for a good bottle of Pinot Noir.
Hope is not entirely lost – but I am not entirely sure where I put it either… probably under that sweltering pile of broken dreams – next to my shattered mutual funds.
On a brighter note, I have started counting down the days and weeks to our vacation in Hawaii – and by then I should be in a good position to buy a few houses while I am there.
So life is not so bad if you are, like me, a 40 something steadily employed dude worried a little about the future. The real trepidation should be with our seniors and later in life retired folks who are either in retirement or thinking of it soon. Those, who were once looking at sprucing up the cottage – now double checking on that noose knot, having just opened their financial statements.
Is it just me or does dread hang in the air like the pall of a train wreck? I haven’t had any good news since Britney was released from rehab – and although the Biden – Palin debates provided about as much calm and diversion as half-a-milligram of Valium (never touched the stuff actually…) the reality is, (like you) I am feeling the sting of reality too many hours of too many days.
The upside is – I feel like giving and receiving hugs more than I ever have. Any takers? I am finding humor in absolutely the oddest places – which is good… best medicine and all.
Anyway – hang in there folks. We are all in this together.
This just in folks – just googled the word coffee and I am number 2 behind Wikipedia out of 328,000,000 possible links.
I feel oddly better – but I still feel like Number Two – especially today.
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Fall Colors Canadian Style - Specialty coffee in a failing marketplace · Monday September 29, 2008 by colin newell
The last few radio appearances that I have done have focused on one thing – Specialty coffee consumption during shaky financial times.
“What do people do when their financial portfolio starts to shrink? How does it effect their consuming habits?”
Interestingly, specialty coffee, like lattes and cappuccinos are the first to go in times of money trouble.
“Why is that?” Well – Coffee… the good stuff that is, is largely considered a luxury item… a treat, if you would… and people, rich and poor – regardless of how wealthy or poor they are, generally cut back on the coffees, the cupcakes, the muffins, the lunches out and so on. It should not be too surprising that coffee is near the top of the heap when it comes to items than can be trimmed…
“Why?”
Because it is easy to sub in the caffeine somewhere else… cheaper… and still get that kick without the kick in the pocketbook. I mean, it would be nice to have a great cup of coffee everyday – but if there is a crunch, there is always way to make a cheaper cup and achieve the primary objective…
“Which is…?”
Brace yourselves folks… The clear majority of North Americans drink their coffee for the caffeine kick. And you can find that kick in Folgers, many cheaper grocers brands, super-store coffee at $1.99 a pound and yes, even the dreaded instant coffee.
In summary, the specialty coffee marketplace in North America is totally at the mercy of financial fluctuations – we have seen what happens to the megalith Starbucks when the tides turn. And that was months ago.
In late September of 2008, we have not hit the bottom of the barrel on Wall Street and Bay Street – we can, however see the bottom of a drying coffee pot.
Fall Colors Canadian Style - Your election spin from gonzales · Sunday September 28, 2008 by colin newell
Gonzales – Fairfield is actually a neighborhood in Victoria, not Los Angeles.
And while driving through this particularly tony neighborhood I made a note of the signs shilling for our up coming election.
Photo right – when the Boogey-Man wakes up at night, who does he fear is in the closet or under the bed? That’s right: Stephen Harper!
Please note that the average house price in Gonzales Fairfield is about 1 million dollars – and these are houses without water views. These are people with money and a head on their shoulders.
The overwhelming conclusion was that the NDP (Our Canadian Socialist Party) had cornered the market on lawn decoration political pitch lumber fixtures… with the Liberals at a distant second. I saw one Conservative (Harper) sign. It was very small and almost ashamed of itself.
Truth is, anyone with more than a grade eight education is going to be able to see through Stephen Harper’s Scary ultra-right wing micro-managed agenda of pandering to his right-wing buddies in the U.S. of freaking me out A. – and his Bay Street business buddies in Toronto, Canada.
I really feel that on October 14, 2008 – the election day, that we could see a coalition of NDP and Liberals building a government – that is, if we do not see yet another Conservative minority.
And the only reason that this is happening is because we do not have a Liberal leader with a personality. Yes, he has a brain. But he is generally gutless and forgettable – and that is a bad combination.
Side-bar. My creative partner, Bob Harris, of BobHarris.com has been recovering in a Beijing hospital from a severe case of eat the deep-fried Scorpion on a stick and pay the price. In Bob’s own words… his own personal portrayal of Crouching Tourist, Shitting Dragons is coming to a theater near you – Trust Bob to find a gastrointestinal microbiological perfect storm in the obviously squeaky clean streets of Beijing.
Onward.
