Looking South Part 1 · Thursday January 17, 2008 by colin newell
My wife and I are watching with rapt attention the unfolding of the democratic process… ah, South of the border.
And like a Mongoose whose eyes are locked on the Cobra, with unflinching attention…
We watch. And listen. And read.
Rinse and repeat.
So – in this the first of a multi-part blog/rant on the subject of the American election experience (for those just joining us, we are Canadians living in Canada – Top that!) I will be giving my readers an escorted tour of my, sometimes confused, interpretation of this most unusual ritual.
Primaries. Caucuses. Super Tuesday?
What does it all mean?
And seriously – what is the difference between what the Republicans are offering the World versus the Democrats?
Well. Let’s start by diving in to some of the current craziness… candidate by candidate.
Mike Huckabee – Republican candidate:
[Some of my opponents] do not want to change the Constitution, but I believe it’s a lot easier to change the constitution than it would be to change the word of the living God, and that’s what we need to do is to amend the Constitution so it’s in God’s standards rather than try to change God’s standards,” Huckabee said, referring to the need for a constitutional human life amendment and an amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman.”
What the #%$@*? Can anyone spell American Taliban? Can anyone say Theocracy?
I think Huckabee’s candidacy for American Mullah is now pretty much toast. And it’s a good thing.
Good day to you Sir!
Victoria realty expressions explained - part 2 · Wednesday January 9, 2008 by colin newell
The Calgary Herald reads… “A Victoria real estate agent is in a U.S. jail charged with assaulting two male flight attendants after they refused him more alcohol on a flight to Miami, forcing the pilot to divert the flight to Denver.
Russell William Petrie, 30, is also charged with “unlawful sexual contact” for slapping a woman on the buttocks when she walked past his seat, according to an FBI affidavit.”
“Petrie is to appear in Colorado district court today. He faces up to 20 years in jail and a $250,000 fine for “interference with flight attendants” and a maximum two years and a $250,000 fine on the sexual contact count.”
Which leads us to our second chapter on Victoria Real-estate expressions…
- Nice Bones. This house is solidly built and with 250,000 dollars or so and ten years of reno, should fix up nicely.
- Shagadelic. A suitable crash pad for you and your dozen college buddies.
- Mile High Club. Spectacular views of… the Gate House.
- Bunk mate. You will need a rich room mate to pay the mortgage on this place.
- The Big House. 12 Small bedrooms, 12 small bathrooms, 1 giant living room and free weights in the Activity Yard.
Comment [4]
Would you like Crema with your Big Mac? · Tuesday January 8, 2008 by colin newell
McDonald’s will begin to roll out one of its biggest and most expensive new product concepts ever in a bid to put the heat on Starbucks in the battle for upscale coffee drinkers.
And if you think you are having a deja cappuccino moment, you are because if memory serves me correctly, Ronald McDonald did some clowning around with gourmet and specialty coffee about 7 years ago…
and it was an udder failure.
I was in a McDonalds Cafe in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada in the year 2000 or 2001 and it was quieter than lunchtime at Mime School.
Perhaps it was timing.
And like the late-seventies Laser-Disk that was so totally wrong thing, wrong time this shot of espresso coffee supremacy could actually take off.
Starbucks, it appears, is suffering from an excessive softening in growth – and hence: Starbucks announced Monday that CEO Jim Donald is out and that founder and Chairman Howard Schultz would retake the reins as CEO…
It is all falling into place. Strike while the coffee pot is hot.
And so McDonald’s is diving into the frothing pitcher anticipating taking a chunk of upwards of over one billion dollars in market share.
Comment [1]
Only in Canada RCMP rant · Friday January 4, 2008 by colin newell
Would you like a breathalyzer with your fries Sir?
RCMP officers in Surrey are asking that very question as part of a new program designed to catch impaired drivers at late night drive-thru windows.
A plainclothes officer is stationed inside the restaurant near the drive-thru window while an officer in uniform waits outside.
The plainclothes officer takes a passive observer role inside the restaurant and looks for signs of impairment, such as slurred speech and the smell of stale liquor.
For the love of…
“We’ve gotten really good buy-in from the proprietors that we’ve dealt with,” said Sergeant Roger Morrow, spokesman for the RCMP’s Surrey detachment. “They’re really excited about it, they’re having fun with it.”
Buy-in? What the @&*! is Buy-in?
He said the program, titled Project WULF (an acronym for Would You Like Fries), has been used on three nights in recent weeks and has already caught two impaired drivers and doled out numerous roadside suspensions…
Do the whoppers and biggie-fries come with that suspension?
Why not go one better and station RCMP officers:
- in Bars
- in your living room
- at Airport arrival gates
- at every Tim Horton’s outlet
The RCMP have had a bad year (2007) tasering innocent people and putting bullets through the heads of people in custody… and I know how that can screw up an otherwise effective Walt Disney-esque public-relations campaign.
But this… I just do not know.
