The World of Mysterious Chinese Coffee Culture: Part 2 · Sunday August 28, 2011 by colin newell
Alright, I’ll go out on a limb here by assuming that the Chinese roasters were targeting a specific sociodemographic layer of our modern society by calling this brew DINKEY COFFEE. DINKY stands for Double Income, No Kids Yet. But if this rather technical brand name lacks convincing emotional-suggestive shelf appeal, so the tag line tries to make up for it: Swellish coffee takes you into the classic leisure romantic life. Of having plenty of dough, but no kids, I guess.
The eternal struggle of many Asian language speakers with the rolling guttural sound of a western ‘R’ is clearly documented in the bold fashion statement on this T-shirt, themed COFFEE BLEAK! However, it may also be worn to quietly protest the meek caffeinated offerings in your office canteen.
The highlight of this presentation are without any doubt these two gender specific coffee packs. Let’s first look at the MEN’s COFFEE. Sturdy packaged in a tin can are 8 × 12 gram coffee powder sticks. Whenever, wherever the need for such a, no doubt strong, substance may arise, it’s there to help. A golden tanned, muscled, shaved, oiled caucasian dude straight from the ‘80s grins at me encouragingly from behind a layer of coffee beans. SUPERIORE written on a banderole over his chest. I appreciate the hint of Italian-ness here.
“BO HELP THICKENING”, he says. Hmm, the dude maybe named BO, but he sounds more like Sylvester Stallone. “DELAY SPERMITIGENIC”. Sounds a bit scary, but coffee in its chemical contents is still full of wonders even to scientists. And maybe the Chinese one-child rule requires ‘spermitigenic’ qualities from all coffees now.
Then there’s this claim: SPONGIFORM ACTIVATED, THE SUPPLEMENTAL NUTRITION TO REMOVE ALL KINDS OF TIRED. THE SECOND MOST POWERFUL ERECTION. Wonder what causes the first powerful erection? Maybe they should reduce the ‘spongiform activation’ a tad? It’s BIO and 100% Natural, but…only now I saw the cup handle!!! This is some really strong stuff when it can arouse even a harmless coffee cup…
Yet for a proper date what does a girl want when you invite her for coffee upstairs? A cup of WOMAN’S COFFEE of course. A caucasian blonde stripped to a thong & garters shows that it’s not the usual Starbucks fare being served here.
The KEEP IT AWAY FROM CHILDREN warning verifies it’s effectiveness on adult females. The BIO sticker from the male version is not present here, so some chemical additives can be expected. But ladies are more difficult in the erogenous department, so we shouldn’t hold that against the makers.
IT IS AMERICAS MASTERWORK OF SENTIMENT SPICE WHICH CAN MEET YOUR EVERY NEED AND IMAGINATION AND GIVE YOU UNLIMITED SURPRISE AND UNEXPECTED SATISFACTION. Now if this doesn’t get the gal to hit the sheets with you, what else could?
Coffee—the American Masterwork of Sentiment Spice. Not for all the tea in China, fellas…
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Good bye to Jack Layton · Monday August 22, 2011 by colin newell
All our prayers and thoughts go out to Jack Layton’s wife, family and extended family.
Summer about Victoria 2011 On the water around Vancouver Island · Saturday August 13, 2011 by colin newell
Heading out on the water tomorrow – not walking on it mind you…
But going out for a ride on a 43’ Hanse
I spent four years in the 80’s (as a civilian) trundling around on everything from destroyer escorts (battleships) to mine-sweepers, gate vessels, tugs and the occasional submarine… learning how to be an marine electronics expert.
This will be fun. Sailing the old way… the better way… with the wind.
Click on the pic at left for the big view…
And relaxing while someone who really knows what they are doing takes the wheel. My brother-in-law is a ships pilot, instructor and all around great mariner – and his wife (my sister) knows her stuff too.
A bit more on the Hanse 43 over here
Summer about Victoria 2011 At the digital cinema · Friday August 12, 2011 by colin newell
We visited Cineplex Odeon Westshore cinemas 900 2945 Jacklin Rd in Langford for “Cowboys and Aliens” featuring Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford.
It’s a Western. And it’s a Science fiction story – two of my favorite genres.
But this is not a movie review.
It is a technology review.
I have not spent a lot of time rambling on the subject of the transition from film projection to digital – there are a lot of people in the industry and in consumer World that bark like otters about this evolution.
My opinion differs slightly.
Starters, modern theaters are too freaking loud. I am clearly middle aged and I pack ear plugs with me to Silver City (and to a lesser extent the other theaters) – because the sound is too loud and it gives me a sonic headache in short order.
It astounds me the number of people that bring children to these noisy shows who have ears that are significantly more sensitive than mine.
Bottom line: Go to any of these shows and you are permanently degrading your hearing and the future of your ability to hear quiet sounds in the future.
But don’t take me word for it.
Digital projection. Cineplex Odeon raves about their ability to download and project digital movies – the savings over film are staggering – and guess what? The savings are passed directly on to the stakeholders at Cineplex Odeon – not the consumers.
There was a time, when film was king, that the only way a theater could make any money was with the concession goods; the absurd lake-sized drinks and waste barrel capacity popcorn selections could set you back a mortgage payment if you were treating the entire family.
The food prices are still stupid but now there is money to be made with the technology. Because it is simpler. And being a person who designs and builds labs and classrooms at a University and actually helps maintain a movie theater (UVic’s venerable Cinecenta [I have worked on the digital and film cinema side of the house]), I know how much stuff costs. And Cineplex Odeon is making a killing on the savings as it were.
And as much as “industry” would like us to believe that digital cinema is “awesome” and sparkles like a jewel – it doesn’t. It is not capable of it. My home Sony blu-ray and LED back-lit Bravia flat screen TV is as capable of showing spectacular video, with breathtaking surround audio. Digital projection onto giant screens has some fundamental flaws – lack of contrast and muted, often dreary color – and jittery scene transitions.
I know this sounds like a bit of a whine. I do come from an old-school movie viewing population where 35MM and 70MM film (and IMAX) was king. My feeling is, the technology is moving forward at a good clip – but it is simply not there yet.
But don’t take me word for it.
Today we drove from Victoria East (Rockland area) to the West Shore cinemas for a Friday matinee – taking surface roads would have made much more sense – The Island highway was inching forward from Tillicum to the Millstream exit – pretty sad. But it was Friday at 3:30 in the afternoon. We made it to the theater with 9 minutes to spare. Would we go again? I would still like to have the “AVX” experience… whatever that is – if the right movie comes along.
Today’s movie was in Cinema 4 – 200 seats maybe… there were, perhaps, 12 people in attendance. Matinee after all.
Final thought. I love the movie going experience. I think it is important for people to get out to movies – to support the economy, develop some social skills as well, eat out and such – especially important for young people and children.
Anyway – enough from me… and enjoy the show!
