Winter all fun, food and frolic - rabbits on the rampage - UVic · Saturday March 13, 2010 by colin newell
There are two kinds of creatures that live and work at the University of Victoria; invertebrates (that run the place…) and rabbits (in the family Leporidae of the order Lagomorpha…) that have the run of the place.
The most recent body count indicated that there are over 1000 rabbits on campus – and none of them have any intention of graduating.
Because in the world of the rabbit, there are only three states:
Thinking of humping.
Humping.
And smoking a cigarette afterward.
Yes, they poop. A lot.
And dig holes.
And destroy stuff.
But it’s a harmless crime folks – because there is little, if any, intelligent life at UVic… at least from what I have seen in my 20+ years working there.
I am, of course, discounting the hard working staff (Union and professional) and the tens of thousands of hard working students self-improving to make a better World.
I am talking about the decision makers – you know, the Vee-Pee’s and executives that run the joint… whose motto is: “If it ain’t broken… break it!”
Who are generally so wishy-washy about, well, everything that they could not run a 15 cent lemonade stand without running it into the ground worrying about the actuarial implications of running a lemonade stand.
I mean, listen up… On a weekly basis I see young families bring their crawling age toddlers onto campus for the specific purpose of crawling around on feces covered green to play with the rabbits. Hello: Risk of disease. Risk of rabbit bite = 2 days of treatment in the local hospital, blah blah blah.
I give up. Maybe this is just natural selection at work.
Bottom line: The administration at UVic is utterly incapable of coming to a decision on the issue of the rabbit copulation explosion. They can’t do it. They are not built for it.
In the meantime, the rabbits screw and reproduce, dig and crap everywhere placing staff, students and toddlers at risk.
I spoke with a lovely and elderly Scottish lady with a support dog at the Finnerty Express last week… and in her intriguing Edinburgh beam me up Scotty brogue said… “All we need are a dozen Jack Russell terriers… Aye? Problem solved!”
I felt like offering her an executive VP job.
In the meantime, watch your step.
Comment [2]
Winter all food, fun and drink - Ending the twitter fun house... · Friday March 12, 2010 by colin newell
Happy Friday everyone and welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming.
Sorry to have been absent for so long – dealing with that nasty Twitter addiction – and after a brief session in neediness and attention deficit rehab, I am back to make a statement.
Which is.
Stay out of deep emotional ponds… especially if you are not equipped with an suitable mind flotation device.
Because oh so many of those… please follow me and please re-tweet my every thought can drain a man’s ability to function properly in the real World.
Twitter is, for me, like a reform school or a very dysfunctional family…
and, as a social application, it should make us better not worse…
More stable… less unstable.
Better people… less like monkeys… less like the class clown.
More inclusive, engaging and interested in the social condition.
And keep in mind: I am people. And I am a monkey. And a clown.
So… Let’s get back to it shall we?
Eager to get back to the drivel you all have been so fond of.
Comment [5]
Winter all food, fun and drink marathon begins - Love it live · Monday March 1, 2010 by colin newell
The International Olympic Committee has been really funny about live music at open and closing ceremonies for years.
One of their golden rules (that is impossible to break) is the one on live music at the ceremonies… and unattractive young girls (I reference the Beijing O.C.)
Their thinking is: To avoid mistakes, embarrassment and equipment failure, they run “tape” for the broadcast feed from the event through the studios to the media… and to you in television land.
Some claim that the performance is “live” in the stadium and tape to media (and your television set) – that might be, but I doubt it.
From my observations, the only open microphones at the O.C. and C.C. were during the dialog from Jack Roggue and John Furlong’s cringe inducing interpretation of cereal box French.
Canadian legend Neil Young did not have a microphone on him either – he had an audio prompter in his ear so he could hear his taped performance and follow along.
As did K.D. Lang (whom I have seen live several times…)
When Nelly Furtado and Bryan Adams “played” at the O.C. Brian left his microphone by his side when he started singing – but quickly “corrected” a few bars into the song.
There are many, many music rehearsals for the opening and closing ceremonies – and what you hear at home is a digital recording of one of the “best takes”.
If there is any doubt as to this fact, ask yourself why none of the artists ever make a mistake during their performance.
As a guitar player, singer and piano player of over 25 years, I would like to say that the whole “taped” thing offends me – but it doesn’t.
It is a personal choice that each artist makes – whether to “compromise” or not and how they do it.
For more reading on the subject, check out David Atkins (executive producer of the 2010 ceremonies) on the subject of O.C./C.C. Olympic lip syncing…
Quote of the day: “I think Nickelback’s music incites violence. For instance, when I hear a Nickleback song….I want to kill Nickleback.” -Brian Posehn
The Olympics are over. Do I love Canada more?
Hate to say it.
I do.
The party is over. Now it’s time to pay the caterer.
Comment [4]
Winter Fun Food and Adventure Victoria - Return to the Stage · Saturday February 27, 2010 by colin newell
Andrea and I sort of live in Fernwood… inasmuch as we sort of live in Oak Bay…
and Victoria… you might say that we are somewhat itinerant.
Anyway – we first appeared at the door of Stages Small Plates in 2007 – review here .
And we have gone back a couple of times – but tonight we had the pleasure of eating out with our favorite couple – the crazy, sexy cool that is The Engels. Valerie and Mark are the brains behind the Bubby Roses Bakery Cafe machine in Victoria.
There is a reason why Bubby Roses Bakery has more kilowatt buzz per square inch of Cinnamon bun than any other bakery in town – it is because of the Engels and their staff. Honest to God, if the World was going to end in 24 hours, this is where I would send everyone to spend their final moments.
Going out with Valerie and Mark generally involves a couple of glasses of Pinot Noir per person and a whole heck of a lot of great stories – back and forth, back and forth.
Anyway, another advantage of going out with a hungry couple is being able to order just about everything on the menu; Edamame (Japanese twig beans), Mussels, Falafel, Squid, White Fish, and pork belly…
and enjoying every morsel!
Although that was not everything, it was a good cross section.
That and dessert; chocolate pate and a creme brulee…
and a 1/2 gallon of Cafe Fantastico decaf.
Dinner for 4 and lots of wine and great stories… about $180
