Looking inward adlib number one · Thursday January 24, 2008 by colin newell
Ok. Stream of consciousness blog entry based on what passed through my brain first.
CBC Website reveals “After interviewing hundreds of witnesses, Vancouver police have no clear suspect descriptions following what they describe as the latest targeted shooting death to occur outside a restaurant in the city.”
The restaurant is Gotham Steakhouse in Vancouver.
From my perspective, the most gauche joint in town and the most likely (for regular folks like me) to find suspiciously rich people inside. You know, like going to a Canucks game – which is something that I have done in the last 6 months (and will again in one month…)
Canucks Games: Where people go to be seen – they are rich folks right? You have to be rich to see the games regularly – or have several hundred dollars to toss IF and ONLY IF you are in town and your other expenses have been covered… because if they are not you are looking at a 400$ evening for a game of ice and puck.
Anyway. Shooting at (I am sorry, Outside of…) Gotham Restaurant.
“Would you like a Potato with your 21 ounce Kobe, Sir?”
Actually, I see a surgeon over in the corner… Maybe I can get my quad bypass now and save the time eating.
Shooting. 2 dead guys. 1 horrified fiancé wearing a tiara. A lot of shocked and confused bystanders not entirely sure who or what shot whom.
I still love Vancouver. Vancouver has always had gangsters and want-to-be gangsters, hoodlums, hooligans, thugs and otherwise arrogant and self-important wankers. Every city has them. Maybe Vancouver has more per capita.
Will I stop going there? Hell no. I respect the ability of professional killers to safely hit their targets and leave us innocent and law abiding citizens the heck alone.
Case dismissed.
Victoria realty expressions explained - part 2 · Wednesday January 9, 2008 by colin newell
The Calgary Herald reads… “A Victoria real estate agent is in a U.S. jail charged with assaulting two male flight attendants after they refused him more alcohol on a flight to Miami, forcing the pilot to divert the flight to Denver.
Russell William Petrie, 30, is also charged with “unlawful sexual contact” for slapping a woman on the buttocks when she walked past his seat, according to an FBI affidavit.”
“Petrie is to appear in Colorado district court today. He faces up to 20 years in jail and a $250,000 fine for “interference with flight attendants” and a maximum two years and a $250,000 fine on the sexual contact count.”
Which leads us to our second chapter on Victoria Real-estate expressions…
- Nice Bones. This house is solidly built and with 250,000 dollars or so and ten years of reno, should fix up nicely.
- Shagadelic. A suitable crash pad for you and your dozen college buddies.
- Mile High Club. Spectacular views of… the Gate House.
- Bunk mate. You will need a rich room mate to pay the mortgage on this place.
- The Big House. 12 Small bedrooms, 12 small bathrooms, 1 giant living room and free weights in the Activity Yard.
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Only in Canada RCMP rant · Friday January 4, 2008 by colin newell
Would you like a breathalyzer with your fries Sir?
RCMP officers in Surrey are asking that very question as part of a new program designed to catch impaired drivers at late night drive-thru windows.
A plainclothes officer is stationed inside the restaurant near the drive-thru window while an officer in uniform waits outside.
The plainclothes officer takes a passive observer role inside the restaurant and looks for signs of impairment, such as slurred speech and the smell of stale liquor.
For the love of…
“We’ve gotten really good buy-in from the proprietors that we’ve dealt with,” said Sergeant Roger Morrow, spokesman for the RCMP’s Surrey detachment. “They’re really excited about it, they’re having fun with it.”
Buy-in? What the @&*! is Buy-in?
He said the program, titled Project WULF (an acronym for Would You Like Fries), has been used on three nights in recent weeks and has already caught two impaired drivers and doled out numerous roadside suspensions…
Do the whoppers and biggie-fries come with that suspension?
Why not go one better and station RCMP officers:
- in Bars
- in your living room
- at Airport arrival gates
- at every Tim Horton’s outlet
The RCMP have had a bad year (2007) tasering innocent people and putting bullets through the heads of people in custody… and I know how that can screw up an otherwise effective Walt Disney-esque public-relations campaign.
But this… I just do not know.
Victoria realty expressions explained · Wednesday December 19, 2007 by colin newell
Notorious for some of the most expensive houses in North America, our Victoria area realtor’s pride themselves in their colorful, yet somehow cryptic use of the English language.
Well – here at the CoffeeCrew blog, we love to help out by making sense of the confusing. So here are some examples and the appropriate translation:
Great starter home – Has rats, lethal mold and is not fit for human habitation.
Good location close to transportation – One block from the airport runway… and has rats.
Walking distance to the Jubilee Hospital – Has mold and rats. You will be hospitalized if you buy this house.
Amazing privacy – Has Big scary rats.
Priced to Sell! – Next door to a grow-op.
Delightful backyard – playful rats
A piece of heaven – At these prices you can own the promised land… and has Norway rats.
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