Life as a duck · Friday May 16, 2008 by colin newell
To Government House British Columbia – camera in hand (Canon EOS-30D) with one of their many fine lenses.
Click on the link for the B.C. Government House (if you would be so kind…) and then come back to this page.
If this were an episode of Star Trek, B.C. Government House would be that floating city on a cloud – where all is joyous and peaceful… and the Earth below is one of misery and despair. Think Earthquakes, typhoons, global warming (or not) and a spiraling consumer price index.
Click on the photo above (when prompted below) to reveal the true nature of this peaceful creature.
And yet yesterday, on one of Victoria B.C.‘s hottest days of the year, walking through this Provincial Government residence (little more than one KM from home)… it was as if nothing else really mattered. Or that everything mattered. And we were both acutely aware of the cataclysmic events unfurling around the globe – a planet experiencing its own paroxysm of physical rage – with heart-breaking consequences leveled against tens of thousands of fellow humans… ostensibly and ironically less than a heartbeat away; 12 hours by jet and a microsecond at the speed of light.
We do what we can. One one hand we give freely to the Red Cross and know that thousands of Canadians are doing the same thing – and this benefits the Chinese recovery and many other worthy campaigns.
But what of Myanmar (Burma)? A stubborn military dictatorship is standing between the World (and its desire to help) and the victims. A million people could die in the next couple of weeks.
And yet – here we walk – amidst hundreds of native plants (and some not so native) with dozens of wild birds and ducks… families of Mallard Ducks and air thick with every imaginable fragrance. The Government House also has a herb and vegetable garden… open to the general public. And if you are stuck for chives, parsley, mustard, basil or one of dozens of herbs – in the preparation of your salad or pasta… well, help yourself courtesy of the Provincial Government of British Columbia!
Back to the duck (above) for a moment. If you can take in every bad (or good) thing that has happened to the Planet Earth in the last week or so… (do it now…)
Now take a good long luck at the Duck (click for the blow-up) and see if you can guess what it is thinking about our plight. See it? Yea.
Exactly.
Life in the Canadian Air Age #1 · Wednesday May 14, 2008 by colin newell
Tickets, check. Passports, check. Luggage, check. Baby…
Someone forget the baby?
A family boarded a flight on Monday in Vancouver, and forgot their child at the Vancouver airport. Oops.
The 23-month-old boy’s family had just arrived in Canada from the Philippines, but they had to re-pack their overweight bags before catching the connecting flight to Winnipeg. So they were running late.
In their Olympic sprint to the gate, the family became separated. Been there, done that.
The boy’s father Jun, thought his son was with his wife.
The boy’s grandparents, who ran ahead thought the boy was with his dad.
On the plane, the family members were seated separately and so did not immediately realize they had left the child behind. An honest mistake.
Eventually, a security guard found the boy, who speaks no English, wandering near the departure gate, and Air Canada officials tracked down his shocked parents on the flight. Thank heavens the RCMP didn’t find the kid first… Tazer-tot anyone?
Because of the boys tender age, he was not issued a boarding pass.
And would have sat on a parent’s lap during the flight…
…so airline personnel did not notice a passenger was missing.
Airport security found a Tagalog-speaking Air Canada agent who looked after the child while his father flew 2,300 kilometers (1,400 miles) back to Vancouver to pick him up. What a wonderful and full first day in Canada!
Your Daily Planet #1 · Friday April 4, 2008 by colin newell
Inflation is hitting everyone these days – gas prices up in Canada, the price of wheat, flour and now rice. A local baker recently reported that his price for one particular grade of flour went up 65% in one week.
And however unusual that is, pity residents of Zimbabwe in Africa. Once the breadbasket of Africa and one of the most successful and stable economies, years and years of government mismanagement have left this gem of a country in fiscal chaos. Inflation rates over the past few months have been reported in the double digits – on a typical day, prices rise 10 to 15%.
In February, the national bank of Zimbabwe issued its first 10 million dollar note – to respond, in part, to the death spiral of its own currency and buying power.
And that 10 million dollar note today? It buys a loaf of bread. If one can find a loaf of bread on the many empty grocers shelves that is.
In an even more brazen and pathetic move, the national bank issued a 50 million dollar note this week.
It is worth about 2$ American and buys about 3 loaves of bread.
Keep that in mind when you are queuing up at your local Sobey’s or Target store.
Random acts of criticism #1 · Thursday April 3, 2008 by colin newell
In a continuing series of randomly orchestrated and generally abusive diatribes on the Canadian condition, Colin Newell will skewer, broil and digest items of regional interest… regardless of the outcome, irrespective of those whose feelings he hurts… Oh! Has he no shame!? Anyway… on with the show.
Athletes on Canada’s national snowboarding team are paying their own way to World Cup events or missing them altogether because the Canadian Snowboard Federation has run out of cash.
Canadian snowboarder Alexa Loo claims she racked up a credit card bill of more than $5,000 taking planes to races in Japan, Korea and Lake Placid, N.Y. during the
season only to miss the final race in Italy because she couldn’t afford the airfare.
Stop! Stop! Enough already. I thank God everyday that we did not have children who turned out to be jocks. Such waste. Pity the hard working families whose children turn out athletic. Tragic yes, but it happens to many Canadians…
Take heart: Relief is on the way! The government of Canada is doing its part to put an end to amateur sports. A pandemic of funding cuts to Canadian sports programs has left our Olympic bound skiers in hot water and our swim teams rowing downhill. In America, if an athlete wants to get ahead, he or she need only sign onto a lucrative Nike deal – In Canada an Olympic hopeful signs up on a Girl Guide cookie route – sticky sweet, yes but hardly a solution to their money woes. How can you help? Attend any Canadian athletic event (if you can find one…) and cheer on the swimmers with an exuberant “Run! Run! Run you slacker Run! …and toss large coins. Anything helps.
In Hockey news, the Vancouver Canucks are struggling in their fitful and pathetic attempts to get on the golf course as soon as humanly possible.
With my infallible magic powers, I will grant them this wish tonight!
The nations broadcaster, CBC, continues to astound, amuse and aggravate Canadians with yet more startling cut-backs. By now you have heard of the complete gutting of CBC Radio 2 programming and the axing of the CBC orchestra. News from the inside indicates that Peter Mansbridge’s prime time Canadian newscast is getting the guillotine – and in its place will be a flat-screen TV tuned to CTV’s Lloyd Robertson. It’s bold. It is grandiose. But will Canadians notice this subtle whittling away of Canadian culture?
What bugs me about people rant #1 · Wednesday March 26, 2008 by colin newell
Anyone remember a time when Google offered a service for those people so busy that they did not have time to search the net – so they could call up Google… and get an operator on the line… to get someone else, a living person, to find what they were looking for… Naturally, this idea did not last long.
Makes you wonder: Is this one of the main reasons that the Planet is doomed? Or is there another reason?
Discovered this today – note photo above left: If you are way too busy to spend the minute and a half registering for my coffee website, there is a web site you can go to that has a userid and password already created just for you!
Uh-huh. And how screwed up is this?
I deleted the userid and password that was created for my website.
If only to screw with these lazy people. I mean, if you are going to visit the CoffeeCrew website, I have certain expectations…
And speaking of lazy. My favorite story is the one about the lady who contacted me from Southern California (and what a horrible place that is!) – She sent me a list consisting of question after question about coffee basics… all of which is on my website about one click or two away from the main page.
But no.
She was too busy.
And so I asked: “All of this is on the website. Why don’t you look it up?”
And she replied: “I am way too busy to spend anytime reading your website!”
It begs the question: How do stupid people survive? Is there an army of sympathetic people out there that have pity on the lazy and stupid people… kind of carrying them along… day by day. Or is it just a case of random chance? Everyone survives despite an assumption of a more logical outcome? Who knows?
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