Summer fun food and drink - Let`s name the babies - that would be fun · Saturday July 26, 2008 by colin newell
A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names and did something about it.
Ok. Let’s get into it shall we.
I am, for all intents and purposes the product of the seventies. And for those of you, just joining us (quite literally… in the last twenty years or so…) let me just explain what I mean.
I think my mother and father are two of the World’s oldest hippies. And I dig that. I really do. They had the good sense to name me Colin… at a time when the name Colin was totally cool. And I am still good with that name. Like, totally.
But what the heck is with parents who have 3 sons and they name them Caelin, Coban and Calum? Hello. The last time I checked, there were more than one or two letters in the alphabet. And what is with this Celtic name shit anyway? My great grandparents, I think, were from Cork, Ireland – my folks and their folks grew up in Eastern Canada so I think I earned the right to have a cool Irish name… So go ahead, challenge my logic. I dare you.
Anyway. Anyone, I mean any two parents… so fuzzy brained to have 3 boys and give them all imaginary pseudo-Celtic names (starting with the letter C no less) need to have my Tony Lama encased leather boot firmly up their ass. Grr. Are we having summer fun yet?
Back to the lead story. People that name their children Sun Flower or God is my Judge (actual name from the seventies…) need to get off the Ganja and get with the program. Thankfully when most of us become adults, we can legally change our names to something that we really like – sadly, when we are kids (and we are generally merciless to each other between the ages of 4 to 16…) the damage is generally done.
So. I am Colin. And I am pretty well balanced. And I have never spent more than a few hundred dollars on therapy (in the 80’s… I mean who wasn’t!?) Who knows what that bill would have been if I had been named Amber Rose Tamara, Saffron Sahara or Tallulah Pine (Simon Le Bon spawn…), Fifi Trixibelle, Peaches Honeyblossom and Pixie (Poli-Eco-Idiot Bob Geldof) and the all time worse picks – Dweezil, Ahmet Emuukha Rodan, Moon Unit and Diva Muffin from music loon Frank Zappa.
Thanks Mom. Thanks Dad. You freaking old hippies rock! Thank-you!
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Summer fun food and drink - Doctor Horrible online now · Sunday July 20, 2008 by colin newell
It is not often that I suggest doing something (to my readers) with a strict time-line.
Like, right now. Do it now. Not tomorrow. But now.
Especially when that something is going to make you smile. Broadly. You might even laugh. I promise you that you might laugh. And see something in this… within yourself. Which might make you feel kind of warm and tingly.
To quote activist, comedian, writer and friend Bob Harris – “If you do not enjoy watching this, then there is nothing inside you worth saving!”
Took the words right out of my… well, maybe not.
The Doctor Horrible Sing Along Blog. Go there now.
There are three acts. Watch one. Then Two. And finally three.
You will be glad you did.
And when you do, come back here. And e-mail me and let me know how it went. A simple thank-you will do.
But don`t hold back. Anything is good.
Summer fun food and drink - B.C. UFO sightings increase · Sunday July 13, 2008 by colin newell
For the record, I have never seen a UFO before… lots of balloons, helicopters, shooting stars, kites, planes, gliders and, yes, even rockets… model ones. Ok. Fireworks too. Guess that counts.
But true-blue (I mean green) UFO’s. From outer space? No. Nothing yet. Still waiting.
And yet currently, British Columbia is a hot bed of UFO sightings. Lots of people calling into Transport Canada (and the R.C.M.P. [The Canadian equivalent to the F.B.I.]) with reports of objects floating, darting, ducking, spinning, glowing, and generally flirting in the sky… or above the ground.
Yea. UFO’s apparently flirt with Cows… just prior to performing the vivisection… Or they are coy. Whatever works I guess.
Anyway. Sightings are up big time. But why?
I have a theory. Yea. You figured that didn’t you?
If we look at other times in the last 50 or 60 years when there were bursts of intense interest in UFO’s and correspondingly frequent sightings – Yes, there seems to be a connection there too. Interest and scrutiny yields results.
From my reading I have discovered periods of increased activity just after World War II, during the Korean war and during the most intense periods of the Cold War between 1962 and 1975. But why then? Why in those time periods?
Well. People feel generally powerless during periods of global unrest – and generally powerless during Alien abduction and when they undergo Alien facilitated probes in their naughty regions… experiences which appear to go hand in hand.
So as Israel threatens to Blaff Iran off the map if they don’t lay off distilling corn liquor and Iran rattles the saber at Israel’s all night raves. And while the U.S.A. utters waddle shaking martial harangues at any country with an oil supply – and (thanks to the TSA) intimidates every American citizen for daring to travel within their own country without 16 pieces of photo ID…
Well, we are starting to see things… in the sky… from all this stress.
(And)The way I see it, those lucky enough to see something totally other-Worldly… Well, they are probably hoping to catch a ride… somewhere else… Like Rigel 5 or Alpha Centauri. One can always hope I guess… that there is a Planet out there somewhere, populated with beautiful young people that wear nothing but linen, never age much beyond 21 or 50 years of age, and get restored whenever they get bored – and guns, violence, pestilence, envy, greed and malice are totally foreign to their species.
Gimme some of that. I promise to behave… and not bring anything Earthly with me…
Sigh. Dare to dream people.
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Air travel rant #6 milk of human kindness - tossed in the trash · Sunday June 22, 2008 by colin newell
According to a CBC report this morning, approximately 20,000 pounds of stuff was confiscated at Vancouver International Airport in May 2008 – Yup. 10 tons of virtually unopened tooth-paste, hair gel, personal lubricant, ointments and unguents – put in a landfill – so you can fly safely… Or yea, and breast milk – gallons of it apparently.
Call me crazy – but wouldn’t it make more sense to collect this stuff to be recycled to a shelter, food bank or something. Except for the breast milk of course. I’d take a pass on that.
Actually Colin… (bad sign – talking to self) – In the U.S. you can actually buy confiscated swiss army knives for $10 a pound. link
I am not sure why I find this so funny. But I am smiling.
The TSA took 13 million items from travelers in 2006 alone.
13,000,001 if you include human dignity as an item.
But I digress.
Here in Canada, it just seems to tragically wasteful and foolish.
Readers: Please e-mail me if there is something positive coming from all this waste.
Air travel rant #6 enough is enough is enough is enough is enough · Friday June 20, 2008 by colin newell
The airport in Kelowna, B.C., will be the first in Canada to test a new type of passenger scanner that creates a three-dimensional image of people’s bodies.
This equipment has been in use in the U.S. for some time now.
Why are we adopting it? Well. Because the U.S. told us to.
The security guard operating the machine sees a simplified image on a computer screen that sees where ceramic weapons, plastic explosives, grenades, Uzi’s, pop rocks or other suspicious items might be concealed.
But in a separate, private room, another officer sees the full detailed black and white image of the person’s body; boobies, pee-pee’s, tushies, implants, enhancements, warts and all.
Say it with me folks: F*ck, F*ck, F*ck, F*ckity, F*CK!
Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough of this pointless bullsh*t security.
Since 9/11, there has been a total of 2 terror related fatalities in the Continental U.S. by Al Hoo-Hoo or terror wanna-be’s.
And taxpayers are on the hook for billions and billions of dollars spent on this electronic crap.
In the same time period, hundreds of people have died at the hands of angry bath-tubs… and nothing is being done about that!
Read the CBC article and the zillion comments here
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