Your Daily Planet #1 · Friday April 4, 2008 by colin newell
Inflation is hitting everyone these days – gas prices up in Canada, the price of wheat, flour and now rice. A local baker recently reported that his price for one particular grade of flour went up 65% in one week.
And however unusual that is, pity residents of Zimbabwe in Africa. Once the breadbasket of Africa and one of the most successful and stable economies, years and years of government mismanagement have left this gem of a country in fiscal chaos. Inflation rates over the past few months have been reported in the double digits – on a typical day, prices rise 10 to 15%.
In February, the national bank of Zimbabwe issued its first 10 million dollar note – to respond, in part, to the death spiral of its own currency and buying power.
And that 10 million dollar note today? It buys a loaf of bread. If one can find a loaf of bread on the many empty grocers shelves that is.
In an even more brazen and pathetic move, the national bank issued a 50 million dollar note this week.
It is worth about 2$ American and buys about 3 loaves of bread.
Keep that in mind when you are queuing up at your local Sobey’s or Target store.
Random acts of criticism #1 · Thursday April 3, 2008 by colin newell
In a continuing series of randomly orchestrated and generally abusive diatribes on the Canadian condition, Colin Newell will skewer, broil and digest items of regional interest… regardless of the outcome, irrespective of those whose feelings he hurts… Oh! Has he no shame!? Anyway… on with the show.
Athletes on Canada’s national snowboarding team are paying their own way to World Cup events or missing them altogether because the Canadian Snowboard Federation has run out of cash.
Canadian snowboarder Alexa Loo claims she racked up a credit card bill of more than $5,000 taking planes to races in Japan, Korea and Lake Placid, N.Y. during the
season only to miss the final race in Italy because she couldn’t afford the airfare.
Stop! Stop! Enough already. I thank God everyday that we did not have children who turned out to be jocks. Such waste. Pity the hard working families whose children turn out athletic. Tragic yes, but it happens to many Canadians…
Take heart: Relief is on the way! The government of Canada is doing its part to put an end to amateur sports. A pandemic of funding cuts to Canadian sports programs has left our Olympic bound skiers in hot water and our swim teams rowing downhill. In America, if an athlete wants to get ahead, he or she need only sign onto a lucrative Nike deal – In Canada an Olympic hopeful signs up on a Girl Guide cookie route – sticky sweet, yes but hardly a solution to their money woes. How can you help? Attend any Canadian athletic event (if you can find one…) and cheer on the swimmers with an exuberant “Run! Run! Run you slacker Run! …and toss large coins. Anything helps.
In Hockey news, the Vancouver Canucks are struggling in their fitful and pathetic attempts to get on the golf course as soon as humanly possible.
With my infallible magic powers, I will grant them this wish tonight!
The nations broadcaster, CBC, continues to astound, amuse and aggravate Canadians with yet more startling cut-backs. By now you have heard of the complete gutting of CBC Radio 2 programming and the axing of the CBC orchestra. News from the inside indicates that Peter Mansbridge’s prime time Canadian newscast is getting the guillotine – and in its place will be a flat-screen TV tuned to CTV’s Lloyd Robertson. It’s bold. It is grandiose. But will Canadians notice this subtle whittling away of Canadian culture?
What bugs me about people rant #1 · Wednesday March 26, 2008 by colin newell
Anyone remember a time when Google offered a service for those people so busy that they did not have time to search the net – so they could call up Google… and get an operator on the line… to get someone else, a living person, to find what they were looking for… Naturally, this idea did not last long.
Makes you wonder: Is this one of the main reasons that the Planet is doomed? Or is there another reason?
Discovered this today – note photo above left: If you are way too busy to spend the minute and a half registering for my coffee website, there is a web site you can go to that has a userid and password already created just for you!
Uh-huh. And how screwed up is this?
I deleted the userid and password that was created for my website.
If only to screw with these lazy people. I mean, if you are going to visit the CoffeeCrew website, I have certain expectations…
And speaking of lazy. My favorite story is the one about the lady who contacted me from Southern California (and what a horrible place that is!) – She sent me a list consisting of question after question about coffee basics… all of which is on my website about one click or two away from the main page.
But no.
She was too busy.
And so I asked: “All of this is on the website. Why don’t you look it up?”
And she replied: “I am way too busy to spend anytime reading your website!”
It begs the question: How do stupid people survive? Is there an army of sympathetic people out there that have pity on the lazy and stupid people… kind of carrying them along… day by day. Or is it just a case of random chance? Everyone survives despite an assumption of a more logical outcome? Who knows?
Comment [1]
Gas Price Rant #9 Hosed at the Pump · Friday March 14, 2008 by colin newell
One for the “I did not know that…” books.
Did you know that when you buy gas for your car and pay at the pump with your ATM, Debit or Credit-Card, the Gas station company puts a Hold on a portion of your line of credit?
What this means is – The gas company blocks out a portion of your line of credit so they know they will actually get paid for the gas you bought.
Ok. Sounds fair so far I guess. But how much of your money are they holding on to anyway? $10? $20? $30? $50?
Wait for it. Are you sitting down? They hold $100 or more!
If you are strapped for cash, you can actually buy $7 worth of gas from your gas station, cross the street to the grocery store and have your credit or debit card denied when you buy food – because the already greedy gut gas companies have put a hold on your money.
Outraged? You should be!
The gas companies say that they are just protecting themselves…
Of course, in 2008, you would think that the software (or hardware) does not exist to allow the gas companies to hold a small amount of money on your credit or debit for a few moments until your transaction is complete – (truth is – it does and many gas stations hold this amount for a few minutes til after you have replaced the gas nozzle in its holder…) And yet many, if not most, of them keep your buying power on hold for upwards of 24 hours! Why?
So you know – this is a common practice for car rental companies and hotels… and not surprisingly. But gas stations? Why?
Canadian Theocracy Chapter 1 · Wednesday March 5, 2008 by colin newell
The Stephen Harper minority Conservative government has drafted guidelines that would allow it to pull financial aid for any film or television show that it deems offensive or not in the public’s best interest.
The proposed changes to the Income Tax Act would allow the Heritage Minister to deny tax credits to projects deemed offensive, effectively killing the productions.
Morality experts from Heritage Canada and the Department of Justice will determine which shows or films pass the test.
Woo!
Game shows, news, sports, and reality television are already excluded from access to the tax credits. So, the proposed prohibition would cover a range of material, such as anything explicitly sexual nature, excessively violent or without educational value.
Ouch!
So whose idea was this anyway?
Apparently a well-known evangelical crusader is taking credit for the federal government’s desire to cut tax credits to TV and film productions that contain sex and violence or lack moral fiber.
One Charles McVety, president of the Canada Family Action Coalition, said his lobbying efforts included discussions with Public Safety Minister Stockwell Day and Justice Minister Rob Nicholson, and “numerous” meetings with officials in the Prime Minister’s Office.
Oh joy!
“We’re thankful that someone’s finally listening,” he said yesterday. “It’s fitting with conservative values, and I think that’s why Canadians voted for a Conservative government.”
Christian Conservative values?
Now, the last time I checked, Christian Conservative Values (C.C.V’s) seemed to exist in small pockets in Alberta and British Columbia – home to book burnings and other scary behaviors…
And to be precise, we have a Conservative minority government…
Which means… more or less… than the Christian Conservatives, in Canada at least, exist at generally safe levels for the rest of us – meaning few…
Thank you God.
