Fall Colors Canadian Style - Election Time Truth Serum

Fall Colors Canadian Style - Election Time Truth Serum · Tuesday October 7, 2008 by colin newell

I had the opportunity recently to interview all the candidates in the upcoming election – and while they were in my modest studio I managed to slip some truth serum into their double-double’s – Who knew that Sodium Pentathol had uses outside of the workplace?

Anyway – this is what they said… pretty much verbatim between slurps of Tim’s and sloppy nibbles of Maple Dips:

Stephen: If I am elected, I am totally going to look after special corporate interests, my friends in high places, allow bank mergers and make cuts to social services like never before… The Canada health-care act? I wipe my BBQ with it…

Thank you Stephen… very kind.
Jack. Jack? Jack! Wake up!

Jack: If I am elected I am going to look after big labor, big labor unions, my big labor cronies, my NDP cronies… and I am going to close all the prisons. For profit health-care? I wrap my Little Red Book in it!

Nice. Stéphane?

Stéphane: Ya know. Dere was a time whan I would give ma eye teeth to be tough as nails like Jean…
Stéphane?
Oui?
Stick to the topic…
Stéphane: Ef a am elected, I will build 10 hydro-electric dams in La Belle Province, 20 new highways to Sherbrooke, 10 new sofa factories in Sept Ille’s… 15 new…

Merci Stéphane.

Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Colin, can I have another mug of that great coffee? I am, like, so feeling trippy right now… Uhm. Wow. Like. Yea. Ahh.
Elizabeth?
Elizabeth: Yes Colin.
You need to actually drink the coffee that I gave you?
Elizabeth: If I am elected, I am going to make taxation greener, gas greener, the grass greener and make St. Patricks Day a national holiday… you know, like Robbie Burns Day… and

Thank you Elizabeth.
Anyone else? Last thoughts?
Stephen: If I get elected I am never, ever going to wear a sweater again… I am going to bring prayer and Windsor knots back to Kindergarten… and then…
Zzzzzzzzzzz….

Thank you Stephen. Thank you Jack. Thank you all.