As Solstice approaches - You will get in trouble with the man · Tuesday June 9, 2009 by colin newell
Andrea and I saw John Fogerty at the Save On Memorial center last night.
And thank heavens for ear plugs! A very lively 64 year old Fogerty rocked the house with a back-up band that was easily half his age.
And how old was the average person at this show?
Think canes. Think walkers. Think… old!
Looking around the room, I saw a clear majority of grays at this gig. Over 60’s. And lots of freaky looking guys and gals who looked frozen solidly in the rubric of the free love manifesto.
Which is good. Because I am about 15 years junior to this lot.
Speaking of age and wisdom: 73-year-old Peter Scott, of Vancouver, is a letter writer. He reads something he doesn’t like in a newspaper – he cuts out the offending article, stuffs it in an envelope, jots his thoughts on the outside in black felt pen and mails it to the object of his ire.
Which is OK if you are sending diatribes to your MLA or Prime Minister – sending snotty notes to VANOC or the IOC might get different results… as it did recently for Peter.
Two police officers from the Vancouver 2010 Integrated Security Unit showed up at his Surrey abode and in their hands was a photocopy of the envelope he’d sent to the Olympic committee. Not surprising, they had a few questions for the decorated veteran. Peter also doubles as a mall Santa in the winter time.
Discussions at the coffee table this morning were somewhat mixed. Some expressed disgust. No one was indifferent to the supposition that perhaps we do live in a police state.
Personally, and having worked for the military industrial complex some 20 years ago, I am kind of on the fence on this issue. I am not surprised that we have a task force that checks up on people… who may be a threat to social order… or a threat to the establishment – whichever form it takes.
Although I am the number one “2010 Olympic” ranter on google, I do not think for a second that anyone would ever challenge my right to make some of the assertions that I do – and nor do I think I will be getting a visit anytime soon from the task force. The difference between them and I being: I am an employed writer and journalist… and rabid taxpayer. And as ascorbic as I can be at times, I hold down a job and keep this ship afloat. So there. Nyah!
But if I did get a visit from the men in Blue?
I would be delighted to talk. Think of the mileage I would get out of that blog week!
Afterthoughts: Olympic issues have been removed from Freedom of Information laws. Through the Freedom of Information act you can ask for any information on your government, but not on VANOC. Now that’s control baby! And the good folks at VANOC wonder why they are viewed in such a suspicious light most of the time.
Comment [1]
Spring into reflection - pet ownership days gone by · Friday May 15, 2009 by colin newell
Has it been 30 years since I had pets? You know. Come to think of it. Yes.
When I was a kid, I had 3 pets; 2 dogs and a cat.
A black lab. A West highland white terrier. And a street cat.
And like most pets, they were telepathic. But not very good at hiding their superior mental powers.
For instance.
The two dogs would often look at each other. One would raise an eye brow. One would nod. The other would look at its paw. The other, one more nod. And they would both leave the house together… and appear back in time for kibbles.
The cat was in a bit of a pickle, canine relationship wise. It got along famously with the terrier… but not the lab.
The terrier would hang out with the cat, occasionally gesturing and nodding.
Until the lab would show up.
And then the terrier would give the cat an apologetic look – and according to telepathic intercepts that went something like this…
Terrier: Uhm. Dude. Sorry. The lab. Is. One of my kind. And. I need. To chase. You.
Cat: Same as last time?
Terrier: Yea. I. Chase you. I will hold back. You run faster. If you run into a corner. And I catch you. You take a swipe at my nose. And hiss. Make it look good. You go left. I go right. Got it?
Cat. Left. Then right. Hiss. Yea. I think so.
The lab was not so good at reading the cats mind.
More than once it missed the escape cues and ended up with a bloody nose.
I can still hear the cat thinking… “Lab. I am going to swing at you NOW. You pull back. You might get grazed. No blood. Good luck.”
The lab did not like cats much… and did not like the mental interaction. And generally did not listen to what the cat was thinking… so blood generally.
I made a promise as I buried my last pet: Never again.
And I kept that promise. But sometimes, I miss the interaction between domesticated animals.
In the year 2009, I have human interaction and technology – neither of which is 1/2 as interesting as pets. So. If you have a pet that is alive and well. Give it a gentle hug. And remember. If you cannot read its mind, remember this.
It’s reading yours.
Spring into bad habits - smoking quota in China · Monday May 11, 2009 by colin newell
Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette Puff, puff, puff until you smoke yourself to death. Tell St. Peter at the Golden Gate That you hate to make him wait, But you just gotta have another cigarette.
Local government officials in China have been ordered to smoke nearly a quarter of a million packs of cigarettes in a move to boost the local economy during the global financial crisis.
Oh. My. God. I cannot take this in.
Honestly folks. The material writes itself. I just deliver it.
The edict, issued by officials in Hubei province in central China, threatens to fine officials who “fail to meet their targets” or are caught smoking rival brands manufactured in adjoining provinces.
Local schools have been issued a smoking quota for teachers, while one village was ordered to purchase 400 cartons of cigarettes a year for its officials, according to the local government’s website.
China has 350 million smokers. A million of whom die each year from smoking-related illnesses. Despite anti-smoking campaigns, cigarette taxes form a major component of China’s regional tax base.
In the late fifties, cigarette companies hired cargo planes to drop crates of cigarettes over Shanghai (this tidbit from a Slavonic prof at the University of Victoria) – His father was a doctor at the local hospital – and within days the wards were full to bursting with patients – all suffering from nicotine toxicity. The goal of the drops were to establish a beach head in a community… with fresh addicts.
Spring into lethargy - with an anti-energy slow cow beverage · Wednesday May 6, 2009 by colin newell
Quebec resident, Lino Fleury is hoping to chill out the Planet, one can at a time.
He has created what is dubbed the anti-energy drink.
On appearances, Slow Cow is packaged like the popular Red Bull energy drink, but it has the opposite effect.
Lino claims – “It’s a balm that soothes people and takes the edge off stress.”
I thought that was what beer was for?
Fleury and his team spent a year and a half dreaming up Slow Cow. The drink contains a slumber inducing pillow of natural ingredients; camomile, passion flower and valerian.
Personally, I think the World is ready for a line of Lethargy beverages as I call them. I mean, the World is moving way too fast.
Meantime. the makers of Red-Bull, the caffeine infused jet fuel marketed to college age kids, do not see the humor nor the efficacy of such a product and have filed notice through their legal team.
Maybe they need to chill out.
Comment [2]
