Roll up the rim to win in Afghanistan · Thursday March 27, 2008 by colin newell
It is said that you cannot fully appreciate a great cup of coffee if you have never had one – or have been relegated to drinking super-store pre-ground and tinned brown vermiculite… like Folgers.
The same can be said for a great doughnut – and I will wager dollars for, well, you know… that if you have ever had one, you would remember it.
Kind of like your first kiss. When it’s good, it’s really good… and you never forget.
A few years back, Krispy Kreme arrived on our shores – if only briefly. It seemed likely that they would make inroads north of 49… but they didn’t. Thanks to the likes of Tim Horton’s.
And this is not to say that Krispy Kreme is great – because they are not. They are fresh – and like coffee, fresh is very important… whether it’s a cup of joe or a deep fried doughy nugget.
For Canadians, Tim Horton’s is as much a part of our consciousness as hockey, maple syrup, fresh air and wide open spaces.
Except Tim’s is not as good as it once was – and to deny this is an act of unbridled, unpatriotic and truly Un-Canadian self deception.
There was a time when the doughnuts were prepared fresh from fresh ingredients… and darn it, it makes a difference. And yes, I know they make up their sandwiches fresh from fresh ingredients… not sure about the quality of their breads – but that is nitpicking.
And in the last couple of years, they have taken this unholy artifice to battle weary Afghanistan. My god. Tim’s in Afghanistan. This is what Canada’s international role has been reduced to – clogging the arteries of our soldiers no less… and our allies.
Wouldn’t it make more sense to give these puck sized weapons away to the Taliban?
I know. Bad idea. They would hate us even more than they do now.
A few facts about Tim’s outcropping in Khandahar:
The doughs, icings and cremes used in this abbreviated menu of cookies, bagels and 12 kinds of doughnuts, as well as the coffees served in Afghanistan were deployed about 45 days earlier from a plant in Kingston, Ontario – The same depot that also supplies Tim’s franchises across Ontario and Canada.
They also exported the favored Canuck sport of rim-rolling to the dusty plains of Afghanistan. Except the prizes are slightly different…
They include camouflage Tim Horton’s ball caps, GPS global positioning devices and five grand prizes of $1,000.
What, no boots, bullets or sun-block?
As much as I support what Canadians do best:
Exporting peace, good will and maple syrup… and yes, putting on a uniform, climbing on a transport and flying to a hostile place half a World away and getting behind the cause of democracy – do our enlisted men and women not deserve better?
A quick scan through Google reveals that Tim Horton’s cuisine was the most anticipated perk to arrive in advance of best wishes from loved ones at home… so perhaps I am the one off the mark.
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It is a sad, sad World · Tuesday March 11, 2008 by colin newell
U.S. House Democrats have failed in their attempt to overturn President Bush’s veto of a bill that would have prohibited the CIA from using water-boarding and other harsh interrogation techniques on terrorist suspects. Quoted: “we need to ensure our intelligence officials have all the tools they need to stop the terrorists…”
Torture doesn’t work you moron. Study after study has proven this. Beat someone hard and often enough they will agree to anything to make it stop.
President Bush had vetoed the bill on Saturday and House Democrats could not muster the two-thirds majority they needed Tuesday to force the bill into law despite the veto. It would have limited the CIA to the 19 interrogation methods approved by the U.S. military. That would have banned water-boarding, a technique which makes the person being interrogated feel like he is drowning.
Meantime, while the War in Iraq is guzzling 12 billion dollars a month, George Bush is lampooning (and thumbing his nose at) fellow politicians (and the rest of us) with an off key version of The Green, Green Grass of Home with lines like:
That old White House is behind me, I am once again carefree, don’t have to worry `bout a crisis in Pyongyang. Down the lane I look, Dick Cheney is strolling with documents he`d been withholding, it’s good to touch the brown brown grass of home.
I think future generations will look back on this phase in Human history with great shame; murder, mayhem and genocide all gleefully advocated by George W.
The good old Hockey Game Chapter 1 · Saturday March 1, 2008 by colin newell
In the last week I have been to three hockey games; 2 Victoria Salmon Kings games and one Vancouver Canucks games.
Yes. This is a fairly recent phenomenon for me.
And prior to seeing the Canucks play last November of 2007, I have not seen a regular season game since the era of Bobby Hull and Bobby Orr.
No, I am not kidding and yes, I feel like I have been asleep for 100 years.
Here is the thing. I have seen 3 Salmon Kings games in the last month and I am sold. I love these guys and I’ll tell you why:
The Salmon Kings play at the Save On Foods center which is an intimate space at about 5000 seats. The Canucks play at GM Place, which I think seats about 17,000.
Salmon Kings hockey is totally family friendly right down to the folksy intermissions with short pee-wee hockey games, multi-generational families clustered in rows of affordable seats, familiar faces and collections of arena geezers who could be anyones and everyones grand-pa. The waft of popcorn and hot-dogs drowns out the fragrance of hops and malt at the Salmon Kings games.
On appearances, Canucks hockey is a great big corporate experience with tickets so generally un-affordable as to be out of reach for the average guy. If it wasn’t for periodic work-related visits to Vancouver with hotels provided, the NHL hockey game would be out of my reach.
Molson Canadian Beer! Canucks hockey is less a sports experience and more a giant beer garden…
with lots of really big men… I mean, where do these Bear-sized males, who look like they eat steak three times a day, come from? Surprisingly, despite the zillion gallons of Molson beer that are served at the average Canucks game, the audience remains pretty sedate. Everyone is, after all, reminded frequently to behave themselves – there is even a 1-800 squeal line you can call if your adjacent revelers get a little out of control.
Back to the Salmon Kings. These Victoria boys give good hockey for the $20-something ticket prices and they really work at it – I mean, they have nothing to lose and everything to gain if their talent shines through.
The Canucks, on the other hand, are all millionaires… and it shows. The crowd is more blinged out, more angry by the sounds of all the expletives that drift through the crowd… and yea, generally less family friendly.
So. Give me the smaller arena and the small town home team with the 20 dollar tickets… and I will save the Canucks for that, ahem, special occasion
Soap. We all use it. · Monday February 11, 2008 by colin newell
Soap. It is all around us. I dare to say that there are probably few people that get through the day without a bar of soap. Those that do should probably reconsider their stance.
Me. I am an Irish Spring kind of guy.
And it makes my friend Sheila cringe.
She makes soap. Really good soap.
I photograph it. And the impromptu photo above does not do it justice.
I designed her webpage Wisdomee.com and it has had modest success.
We have come up with some interesting ideas.
Like Coffee Body Scrub.
And if you know me at all, you will know that a fusion of coffee and soap is darn near a perfect combo. Imagine getting clean and buzzed at the same time. And it works.
At some point I will be pushing this product a little more.
Shameless? Maybe.
Tingly and perky and squeaky clean? You bet!
