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Rites of Spring #20 The power of my shoes · 20.05.10 by colin newell

Crazy shoes with mystical powers - FluevogsMy wife and I just spent the evening with Brit comic Eddie Izzard – arguably one of the funniest men on the planet. Maybe even beyond the planet.

We actually sat in separate seats – well, I mean – separate rows… obviously people cannot sit in the same seat while watching a comic like Eddie Izzard…

Unless they are making out or something.

We initially determined that there were no good pairs of seats left for the show – but came back when we realized that we could sit in two separate rows – not far from each other… maybe check each other out – flirt… and then go home together.

Brilliant! And it worked! But what about those shoes?

Digress. Actually when we go out on dates or weekends, I wear a pair of my Fluevogs – a very sexy shoe from an outlet in Vancouver. My Fluevogs are NOT shown in the photo above. I will get an actual shot of these 2-Tone Burgundy and Black bad boys. I mean, I do not wear great shoes to work. What would be the point? I did once and I was interrupted constantly during the day… never got a thing done that day.

It seems that even an old f*cker like me (late 40’s / early 50’s) can wear some bad-ass foot wear and pull it off. And whenever we are in the theater or cinema, someone spots these things and wants to talk about them.

Being over 6’ tall and still slim and wearing 501 jeans in a size an average 21 year old would like to be able to wear – with a Tommy Bahama shirt on top of that… and…

Without fail. Never. Ever. An evening. Where someone does not see the shoes and react as if they are a 5 month old puppy or a new baby.
Shoes for heavens sake. Shoes.

It seems a waste to wear them on my feet for all the love they get by passersby. I should strap an extra pair around my neck. That would be funny.

Anyway. Eddie was funnier than heck – and spent the entire 2 and 3/4 hour set delivering the history of everything and proving there is no God.

I am in…
Then again, I do have these shoes. That proves something.
Just not entirely clear what.


Colin Newell is a Victoria area resident, writer, singer and want-to-be funny guy… with shoes, awesome shoes.


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