Spring into knee jerk reactions - 2009 - the swine flu chapter 4 · Monday May 4, 2009 by colin newell
The funny thing about humans is that we are predictable.
Reliable as gravity.
Modern Air travel
A handful of Saudi’s take over some American aircraft with little more than box cutters of persuasion, and the World changes forever. Tightened airport security was certainly overdue on this continent.
Someone gets on a plane and tries to light their shoe on fire – and it is lights out for foot fancy free air travel.
Someone decides that you can cook up a wicked explosion with 2 small containers of dissimilar fluids. Bye bye in flight hydration.
I have determined that there are 15 ways of killing an obnoxious person with the air safety fold-out, flotation pillow, or In-flight magazine… but I am not talking.
And isn’t it enough that we have to strip down to our bare essentials to climb into a flying cigar – we are scanned and prodded and questioned and shuffled around like sheep. So, let’s get back down to Earth…
Life on the ground
Attach the word Swine to a largely harmless illness and it’s curtains for potential pork ribs and bacon.
Why couldn’t we have had Snake flu or Spider flu…
Actually, I step back. I do like spiders and snakes. They are largely harmless.
Better name… Spring Flu. No one gets hurt.
But that is not reality, is it?
Currently, schools are being closed. Vacations are being ruined. Few people are actually getting sick, but we are acting like the sky is falling. Farmers are being forced to slaughter perfectly good livestock because of our emotional weakness and fear.
We are chasing our coiled up little piggy tails… and for what?
In China, they are locking down Canadian tourists… not that this is a bad thing in principle – I mean, god knows what we could teach the Chinese politburo about common sense living…
Oh. Yea. Contradicted self.
Going mask free regardless of what happens… I am Colin Newell.
Additional reading – Health scares are like terrorist ones. Someone somewhere has an interest in it.
Spring into flu and other media created illnesses - chapter 3 · Friday May 1, 2009 by colin newell
Patient Zero.
Comment [2]
Spring into flu - and other media created illnesses - part deaux · Thursday April 30, 2009 by colin newell
10 reasons you know you might/might not have swine flu!
- Number 10 – It’s Friday. 99% of cases appear on Fridays.
- Number 9 – The sun is shining. You feel good. Don’t be deceived – you are not well!
- Number 8 – You partied on Thursday night and your throat is sore the next day. It’s swine. Stay in bed.
- Number 7 – You had a pulled pork sandwich at your favorite BBQ joint. You feel queasy. This is swine flu.
- Number 6 – You really don’t want to go to Mexico with your girlfriend – that anxiety you are feeling? Swine.
- Number 5 – You woke up next to a stranger you met at a Vancouver club. Is this swine? No but you are crazy.
- Number 4 – Home sick. Updating Facebook. Boss catches you. You’re fired. Swine.
- Number 3 – You find yourself in an actual James Bond movie… but it is not a movie, it’s real – and James nemesis, Fang, has locked you into a mysterious machine that makes you look sexy and 60’s retro chique… Swine.
- Number 2 – You have just smoked 3 cartons of Lucky Strike and are not feeling so lucky anymore… and we all know smoking is harmless
- And the number one reason you may or may not have swine flu…
- You haven’t had a weekend off since Christmas… and something had to give!
Comment [2]
Spring into flu - and other media created illnesses · Tuesday April 28, 2009 by colin newell
The headlines scream, “3rd case of swine flu reported in British Columbia!”
… “responsible for DOZENS of deaths in Mexico!” Dozens! Dozens!
Looked outside lately? Noticed that the sky is falling? No. Me neither.
It must be an awfully slow news week when the media gets utterly hung up on a couple of cases of the achy breaky sniffles.
People are canceling their trips. People are dumping their Air Canada stock. People are wearing masks to work.
Why? Because the radio said so.
Here is a statistical wake up call…
In 2002, 65,313 people died of flu related illnesses in the U.S.A.
Over 65,000! Aaaiiiiiiiieeeeeeee!
43,354 died in Auto accidents. Oh. My. God. No!
936,923 died of cardiovascular issues. Mary mother of God, what, what, what
Coke machines have killed more people in the last year than this current pandemic.
Message to media? Shut the f*ck up and get back to reality.
Comment [4]
