Winter all fun, food and frolic - rabbits on the rampage - UVic · Saturday March 13, 2010 by colin newell
There are two kinds of creatures that live and work at the University of Victoria; invertebrates (that run the place…) and rabbits (in the family Leporidae of the order Lagomorpha…) that have the run of the place.
The most recent body count indicated that there are over 1000 rabbits on campus – and none of them have any intention of graduating.
Because in the world of the rabbit, there are only three states:
Thinking of humping.
Humping.
And smoking a cigarette afterward.
Yes, they poop. A lot.
And dig holes.
And destroy stuff.
But it’s a harmless crime folks – because there is little, if any, intelligent life at UVic… at least from what I have seen in my 20+ years working there.
I am, of course, discounting the hard working staff (Union and professional) and the tens of thousands of hard working students self-improving to make a better World.
I am talking about the decision makers – you know, the Vee-Pee’s and executives that run the joint… whose motto is: “If it ain’t broken… break it!”
Who are generally so wishy-washy about, well, everything that they could not run a 15 cent lemonade stand without running it into the ground worrying about the actuarial implications of running a lemonade stand.
I mean, listen up… On a weekly basis I see young families bring their crawling age toddlers onto campus for the specific purpose of crawling around on feces covered green to play with the rabbits. Hello: Risk of disease. Risk of rabbit bite = 2 days of treatment in the local hospital, blah blah blah.
I give up. Maybe this is just natural selection at work.
Bottom line: The administration at UVic is utterly incapable of coming to a decision on the issue of the rabbit copulation explosion. They can’t do it. They are not built for it.
In the meantime, the rabbits screw and reproduce, dig and crap everywhere placing staff, students and toddlers at risk.
I spoke with a lovely and elderly Scottish lady with a support dog at the Finnerty Express last week… and in her intriguing Edinburgh beam me up Scotty brogue said… “All we need are a dozen Jack Russell terriers… Aye? Problem solved!”
I felt like offering her an executive VP job.
In the meantime, watch your step.
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Crisis in Haiti - help however you can now. · Wednesday January 13, 2010 by colin newell
You can visit here (Your Red Cross), World Vision or whatever your preferred charitable organization is.
Give what you can.
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2009 a year in review - part three - Joy, World Peace, and fighting · Tuesday December 29, 2009 by colin newell
Many, many years ago one of my, now fully grown, nephews declared while hoisting a plastic sword (or light saber…) over his head…
“I believe in Peace, Harmony… and fighting…”
Which is something that must have been on Vancouver city council’s mind when they made the bizarre and unexpected decision to sanction and approve the exhibition of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA, UFC, whatever…).
MMA: defined as: two competitors using techniques from boxing, kickboxing, wrestling and other fighting styles to knock each other out. It used to be called “extreme fighting” but now those who run this pathetic excuse for a sport prefer to call it “mixed martial arts” — sounds so much more civilized is all…
Call me a sissy but I have always thought that there is very little “sport” in two guys pummeling each other into a senseless mass. I mean, come on. Pinning someone and delivering kidney shot after kidney shot (or head shots) is not sport. It is barbarism, pure and simple.
And, ironically, I actually feel for the combatants that choose this avocation and blame the promoters and audience for getting off on it. Because, hey, it is oh so Toss the Christians to the Lions mentality.
Vancouver Counselor Andrea Reimer, who voted against the motion said “It’s become very hard for me to see the logic in passing this motion … I’ve spent a lot of time . . . dealing with the fallout of kids who have been desensitized to violence because of adult sanctioning of violence, but then adults also saying it’s not appropriate for children to participate in the same level of violence that we have sanctioned ourselves.”
Can’t touch that. Thank-you Rafe Mair for getting that word-byte from Andrea.
More locally, there is some talk among city folk in and around Victoria out through the West Shore (read, Langford, Colwood, Trailerland…) thinking about getting some of that MMA action here on the lower Island.
And no, some of the action in and around the West Shore council meetings, although taking advantage of verbal sparring, bullying and other goon like behavior, may appear to be a form of Mixed martial arts – it ain’t.
For me, integrating brutality and senseless violence into a public spectacle was one more step in the de-evolution of the Province of British Columbia.
Fall Fun Food Drink and Words with Rex Murphy · Monday September 21, 2009 by colin newell
One of the great pleasures of the spoken (and written) word (particularly in a country as free as Canada) is the ability to wax philosophic on every subject that irritates the psyche. It is, as if, in Canada, a country that prides itself on free expression, labels the very exercise of soliloquy as a national obligation – the failure to do so, within itself, could well be rewarded with a social punishment, or banishment worthy of a much harsher crime.
Which leads me to the hour of validation provided by none other than Rex Murphy – orator, intellect, maven of all things Canadian Culture – host of Canada’s beloved “Cross Country Check-up”, writer for the Globe and Mail… and on… and on… and on…
We have seen Rex on several occasions, each successive venture in listening more profound than the one before it. Mister Murphy has an uncommon connection to the most intimate fabric of the Canadian experience and a word skill sufficiently advanced to weave an otherwise cryptic and esoteric sweater of ideas into a warm and gentle blanket of thought wearable by even the most jaded and maple leaf detached person.
His message tonight was quite simple: We live in a country with a whole lot of great stuff around us and like the “forest for the trees” adage, we don’t know what we have even when we are surrounded by it – and it is not so much about the learning of this concept, because we know it by rote – but that we often need to be reminded of the little things that coalesce into the big things… that make Canada the most desirable place on the Planet – and the people resting on its familiar soil some of the most giving and empathic.
In a short story about 9/11 and how average Canadians (Newfoundland in his example) come to the aid of stranded Americans and Internationals, forced out of the air in a day of infamy, senseless aggression and rage. – Rex illustrates the factor of molecular memory in Human behavior and how good things can come from all Canadians – of all stripes, because we know what the right thing to do is when we are in dire straits – or when our neighbors are in difficult times.
And not only that, the very manifestation of the Canadian zeitgeist guarantees the feels good reward by doing the right thing – without expectation of recognition – but just the simple satisfaction of lending a hand when it’s needed.
And it is intrinsically Canadian to do so.
It was a great time. We bought his new book (photo upper right) and lined up with other Canadians to have a private moment with the wordsmith – and to have the book custom signed.
A moment with a great Canadian, teacher, speaker and a reminder what it is to be Canadian…
Utterly priceless.
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